All will be alright...

Well, I've been keeping busy lately with a lot of errands. As money allows, I try to stock my classroom with much-needed supplies, curriculum books, and such. It's fun to shop for stuff that will make my life as a teacher all the smoother. It's my hope that I can keep it all organized. Each week is definitely improving. While there are lots of little things still to do, I feel as though I am moving closer to my goals. I am always the perfectionist, so that hinders my progress at times. I want things to go right the first time and am easily frustrated when they don't. So I have been practicing the art of just letting go of the little things and accepting that I am still learning. Being okay with making mistakes is a big accomplishment for me. I preach that to my students all the time...that it is the effort that is most important...the right answers will come. Now I just have to remember to heed my own words. It's all about taking on a zen attitude.

Something else that has been grabbing my attention as of late has been the fact that the holiday season is almost upon us. I love Autumn, the colors, the beautiful trees, and the spookiness of Halloween. My kids really look forward to this time of year. They get to wear costumes, go trick-or-treating, and participate in our family traditions. However, once we bid farewell to the ghosts and goblins, I become a giddy little kid. Why may you ask? Well, because that means that 'tis the season to be jolly. There's Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and New Years all in the span of just over a month. Most importantly, Christmas break will be here soon and I'll get a full two weeks to hang out with my kids. I miss them terribly and sometimes resent the extra hours I have to put in at work. Yet I know that they still love me and that keeps a smile on my face on even the yuckiest of days. Anyhow, I love this time of year most of all and can't wait to see family, eat good food, and go Christmas shopping.

Clouds are parting...

Survived parent conferences! It was an incredibly long week, but I feel as though the clouds are parting and I'm getting a little sunbreak. The weather has been gloomy as has been my workload. It always feels good to get some busywork off the plate. In addition to completing my own conferences, I attended my son's at his school nearby. After speaking with his first grade teacher, I stuck around and was able to chat with a sixth grade teacher. She spent an hour showing me stuff that her class has been doing and shared a ton of materials with me. She just met me and even lent me a book of hers to use. I thought that took amazing trust on her part, but I reassured her that I stop in every morning to drop off my son so I would return her book shortly. Anyhow, she gave me so many great ideas that I will be incorporating into my own classroom. What I love about my son's school is how organized and together it is.

My school is a wonderful place in it's own right, but there are some challenges to it (as I have blogged about in the past). It's tough being on a team of two first year teachers and our title teacher is also in her first year of such a position, so everyone is just trying to find their own way. Since I finished my conferences a little early, I devoted part of Friday to getting some extra stuff done. I brought home a stack of papers to sort through and organize into files. It's too tedious to share all of my new plans here in this blog, but I feel good about the changes. Also, since it was payday, I purchases some educational books that I had been wanting. All around it was a productive week and gives me hope for the coming months. While I don't expect to master everything the first year, I plan to become more adept at some things at least.

We also got some additional bills paid off and that has been a good feeling. Little by little the positives are coming back into our lives. The kids got to play with some friends and get some time off from school. We are gearing up for Halloween, so that will be fun. We just need to sit down and carve the pumpkin one of these nights. I have an scary idea for what it ought to look like, but we'll see if I can convince hubby to go with it. Anyhow, I am ret to go for another week. For now, laundry awaits. So tahtah for now!

Insomia

Alright, it's going on three days now where I've gotten an attack of insomnia in the wee hours of the morning. I even gave up trying to sleep on night between the hours of 2 and 4am. Couldn't stop dreaming about work stuff and it was driving me crazy. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety surrounding upcoming parent conferences at work. It's my first time planning them and it doesn't help that I've had to revamp many of my grading practices. Teaching definitely takes time to learn and I'm learning to accept the fact that I won't be able master everything right off the bat. I am trying my best not to get to down on myself when I make mistakes, however it is a frustrating process to go through. I want feel prepared for when the conferences start on Wednesday, but it's gonna be a painfully long road until that time arrives.

Things are getting better every week however. The lightbulb shines a little bit brighter with each new discovery. Ever the student am I. People look at teachers and assume that all they do is teach the lesson and grade a few papers. I used to be one of those people. However, I have quickly learned just how many tiny details go into making an effective classroom and teacher. My classroom neighbor is a third-year teacher and she confided in me the other day that she is still figuring some things out. I complimented her on how organized she seemed and how nice her classroom looked, she replied that she keeps the flaws well-hidden but they are there. She also said that it's taken her a long time to get used to juggling all the balls in the air, but she is getting there. I am taking that advice to heart and hoping for a restful night's sleep for once.

Warning: Graphic...

On another note, Kirsten came down with the sniffles this week among other things. Her nose had gotten crusty and gross after a couple of days. She was getting a few little red spots on her face that looked like pimples. Nicky had gotten a milder version earlier in the week, but his seemed to be clearing up. I thought the red dots were unusual, but just assumed they had eaten too much sugar. Then Kirsten began complaining that her foot toe hurt. We just assumed she meant she had stuffed it. After removing her sock, I noticed she had a bad infection on her big toe. We put some Neosporin and kept it clean, but it kept getting worse.

Luckily, the kids and I had Friday off and so I took them to the doctor. Turns out Kirsten has impetigo on her nose and a staph infection on her toe. We caught it before it got too bad. The doctor gave her some cream and antibiotics to fight off the infections. Poor little thing, but she's been a trooper. Nicky is pretty uch healed. I've been diligent with her medicine and she's been so good about following directions for the most part. Between her ailments, the house being a wreck, getting behind on grading papers, and stressing about conferences...I now understand the source of my insomnia. It's just plain o'l stress. Kirsten is now on the mend, I'm catching up on work stuff, and trying to relax and enjoy things more. Guess I just have to accept that some days will be stressful no matter what, but learning to handle things with a positive outlook helps the stress roll off my back a little easier.

So happy together...

In spite of all the time I've been putting in at work, the weekends have been reserved for quality time with my family. Hubby and I have made it our priority to make sure the kids feel that our time together is special. For instance, we took the kids to Krispy Kreme a few weeks ago for a special breakfast out. We got to eat some fresh and hot glazed doughnuts. Mmmmmmm, does a tummy good. They always get a kick out of watching the doughnuts getting made. They are big fans of the show on Discovery Channel called How It's Made, so this place is right up their alley. The kids still have their Krispy Kreme hats. Anyhow, then we went onto tour some nearby housing developments and check out some open houses, another of our favorite pasttimes.

Last weekend, we celebrated our son's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese with some family and friends. That place is a child's wonderland and the kids have been asking when we'll be able to go back. They had a ball as they ate pizza, played pinball, rode in the kiddy rides, and goofed off inside the play structure. It was a crazy few hours, but made it a memorable day for the children.

Then just yestderay we made our annual trip to the apple orchard/pumpkin patch. Oregon Heritage Farm specializes in apples, but also sells pumpkins. We always manage to go on their fundraising weekend. A local high school ski team hosts their fundraising event at the farm, so it is a big deal. We went on a hayride that takes you on a tour throughout the orchard. The kids really enjoyed that part. Perhaps the part they got the most fun out of were the two haymazes. One was a like a labyrinth and the other one had a tarp over it to make it dark inside. With a flashlight, the kids got to go exploring inside. The part I personally look forward to is getting the honeycrisp apples each year. I'm not much of an apple person, but these ones are absolutely divine. We get some of their homemade apple cider and some potpourri as well. Due to the impending rain, we had cut our day a little short...otherwise we would've indulged in some caramel apples and face painting too. Anyhow, we had a wonderful day. I have a 3-day weekend coming up, so I am excited to have some additional time with the kids. They are truly my life, so I appreciate every spare moment I can with them. With all of the drama surrounding some of our close friends right now, we are definitely cherishing these times all the more and take nothing for granted anymore.

Caught in the middle

I am starting to feel the drain on my energy. I used to blog almost daily, but now I'm lucky if I get one done a week. I've been keeping a crazy schedule with work. It's been getting a little better, but I still have some very late nights and am still losing weight. That last part is one of the nice perk, but I just don't want my health to suffer and get totally run down. I still don't even have a sub plan put together or even know how to call subfinder in the event I do get sick. That is high on my priority list though now that some of the academic things are finally coming together for me. Still wish I had had some better mentoring, but what can you do? Just doin the best I can with what I have to work with.

Celebrated our son's birthday this past weekend. N is now 7 years old. We went with some family and friends to Chuck E. Cheese for his dinner party and oh did he have lots of fun. Spent all of Sunday being lazy...really lazy. I got some laundry done and got a bit of the living room picked up, but otherwise I tried to be a lump on a log. It was cold and rainy outside, so I was more than happy to stay inside with the fam.

Today however was a far cry from the good weekned I had. It was a really long work day and then ended up in the middle of something I wasn't prepared for. The short version is that two of my closest friends are getting a divorce and somehow I found myself caught in the middle. Lines have been drawn in the sand and I'm feeling as if I have to choose between my two friends...and it's not a good feeling. Right now there is a lot of mistrust, hurtful words, and accusations flying around. There are kids involved, so it complicates things even more. Even though I have my personal opinions about the situation, I have told both that I will be there as a support, but would prefer to be kept out of the crossfire and refuse to choose. Divorce is never easy, but it quickly becomes clear where loyalties lie. I just hope both sides of this family remember that the children should be sheltered from as much as possible from the bad blood. Makes me awfully grateful for what I have that is going well in my life and not to take anything for granted.