The Heart of Teaching

So this past week was literally a blur. I dove into my workload full force. Three times a year, life gets a little nutty at report card time and conferences. It comes with the territory and you accept it. For several days now, I have done nothing but eat, breathe, and dream about grades, portfolios, and lesson plans. After a very long and productive Friday, I made the conscious choice to leave all of my stuff at work. For the most part, I've been good about doing that for the sake of my sanity and so my home life doesn't suffer.

I am so glad that I did leave work behind this weekend and enjoyed life. It was just really nice to not to worry over what still needs to be done at my job, although I couldn't quite stop it from invading my dreams. At least, I was content to hang out with hubby, the kids, and some good friends. I think that's a good thing to do when work becomes all-consuming. I mean come on, I surf the net looking at educational stuff just for fun. How sad am I?!

Teaching can be a very time-consuming career. While teachers may get summers off, the school is definitely a busy and crazy time. A very wise teacher once told me early on, "teaching is not a job, it's a way of life." How right she was. Now I can fully appreciate that little pearl of wisdom. I am the first to admit that I didn't get into teaching just for the joy of it, I looked forward to the fact that it would be the closest I would ever get to being a stay-at-home mom with my own kids (in summers). It has given me the opportunity to be a better mom to them actually. I have taken all of this experience and it has helped me tremendously in working with N and K's schoolwork and such. During homework assignments, at parent conferences, and during my son's IEP process, I have gained a unique understanding that wouldn't otherwise be there. I'm very thankful for that.

I quickly learned that besides motherhood and marriage, it would be the single-most challenging thing I would ever take on. I have survived many things in my life, however I am still on the learning curve with this career choice. I won't lie and say I haven't missed my old career from time to time (social services), but promised myself to see this one through. I've said this before, but it is humbling to switch careers midlife. You go from feeling very on top of things to feeling completely lost. You wouldn't know it if you saw me at home, but I can also be bit of a perfectionist at work, so letting of that need to have things just so has been almost therapeutic.

When I started this journey back in 2004, I knew it would take time. After three years as an assistant, two years of graduate school combined with student-teaching, and surviving my first year in my own classroom, I can say that this second year has been pretty good overall. While it hasn't been a walk in the park, it has forced me to dig very deep and use all that I have. I realize that I have much to learn, so I accept that I will forever be the student, but at least I can say with confidence that I am at last a teacher.

A good friend at work (who is a third year teacher) recently said to me that she figured it takes the average person at least five years to truly get the hang f things. Wow. So I have at least three more years to go. I joked with this same teacher that I find myself gazing around the classroom for ideas when I attend N and K's school conferences. As interested as I am as a parent, I also keep my teacher hat close by and have to restrain myself from peppering their teachers with questions on how they make it all look so easy.