People Change

I am not sure why I go through these dry spells, but I haven't been in much of a blogging mood in recent weeks. Family times were sweet during the holidays, my work life had me feeling under seige. Just as I was getting back into a groove and feeling more at ease than I had in months, the second shoe dropped (so to speak). I don't wish to relive the whole ordeal here as it only causes me stress and sadness, so I will share the nutshell version.

As I have tried to adjust to the many changes that have come down the pike this year from the powers-that-be at my school, I have continued to work on becoming a better teacher as I am far from perfect. Since I am still in my early years as an educator, I still have much to learn and it is a neverending quest for me to do right by my students. That said, I have watched someone, I'll call her T, who was once near and dear to me at work slowly transform into a mere shadow of her former self in her new position of power. We have clashed at times, but always seem to work through our philosophical differences. It has been a bittersweet experience and I have learned some very hard lessons this year. I have resolved to let go of much that has happened, but it has been a challenge on many levels. This person cannot see her own hypocrisies and shortcomings, but liberally points out those flaws in others around her.

Case in point, the librarian and I discussed ordering some historical fiction novels to enrich our English reading program. I ran it by T and she supported this idea. Today, the libarian approached me with a look of grave concern on her face. She said she had briefly discussed the books again with T, only to be told not to order them at this time as she feared they were too old for our students. The libarian shared her excitement with me about winning an eBay auction for these books, but was worried about T's reaction to this. I was puzzled since T had already approved the original decision and these books were found in school libraries everywhere. I accompanied her to confront T about this about-face. Despite my own recent experiences with T, I felt so bad the libarian. When T fearfully shared her news, T accepted this with a smile and said that it was fine. I was glad she did not make a big deal about it and we reminded her about her initial enthusiasm, which she acknowledged. Who knows what was going on in her mind. I never know anymore. I'm learning day by day to just keep my distance and not rock the boat unless absolutely necessary.

I suppose that is one of life's bitter pills that we have to swallow every now and then. It keeps us alert to things that we can become complacent about. People change, things change. Even me. It's a simple fact of life. I just have to face that fact.