Reflections

I am in the final pages of a very inspirational and thought-provoking book entitled Between Heaven and Ground Zero by Leslie Haskin. It took me quite awhile to get through this novel, not because of a lack of interest (quite the contrary), but because life and work got in the way. I have to read lots of children's literature for my job as an English Teacher in a language immersion school. That takes up what little time personal time I have to devote to reading for pleasure. Since I am caught up on all that, I decided to be a little selfish and read some books I've had lying in wait for me. Well, I have to say this particular book was well worth the wait.

Between Heaven and Ground Zero follows a woman's journey as she climbs the corporate ladder and leaves her childhood faith behind. As she accumulates material wealth and a picturesque view of New York City from Tower One, Leslie (the author) finds herself shaken to the core as fate collided with her life in one fell swoop on September 11th. She recounts her harrowing descent from the 36th floor into the lowest point of her life. As terrible as her experiences were, her story is one of hope as she rebuilds her life with a newfound sense of purpose and she rediscovers her relationship with Him. What makes her story so vivid and touching is how she seamlessly blends her emotions and memories with scripture.



Leslie writes, "there is nothing more miserable than the fear of dying and leaving so much undone and even more unspoken." She explains further, "not only was I full of repentence, I believe I reached a place where I understood that all the simple things we fight, scream, and complain about mean absolutely nothing. I was clear that all the 'stuff' we work so hard to accumulate is temporary...of no real value. I got it. Life is a love story. I saw. I understood. It was clear. I was clear. That was how life 'flashed' before my eyes, in clarity. It was a long pause of lucidity." It was in this moment of darkness and devastation inside the crowded, crumbling stairwell of Tower One, that she says, "hopeless and lost, I lifted my eyes to the only place I knew where I could find peace."



The reason this passage resonates with me so much is because I think that many of us can relate to some experience from our own lives that caused us fear, stress, and/or grief that led us to look outside of ourselves for guidance. Lord knows we've all had our fair share of all of those. I love how Bruce Almighty puts a friendly face on God in the form of Morgan Freeman. I love that.



Even though I wasn't raised attending church and still don't to this day, I have always been searching for that certain something that ties me to Him. After surviving many defining moments in my own life, I have come to the realization that He is simply in my heart and that is most valuable lesson I can carry with me. Spirituality is different for everyone and is not something that has to be sugar-coated and packaged into this or that. Every faith has a belief system that expects followers to adhere to. Some are stringent and demand obedience, while others are more loosy-goosy. I am no expert on the Bible or the Koran, but I do know what it means to have faith. Many might disagree with me, but I know that He has been with me all along.



I remember a moment when I was about eleven or twelve, I was enduring something very painful from someone very close to my heart. Then along came my salvation in the form of, if you can believe it, Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me Margaret." This book actually taught me to turn to Him. It is a rite of passage, must-read for preteen girls. If you know this book at all, you'll realize the humor in all this irony. I pleaded with God to keep me safe and give me answers during this confusing time. The strangest things will bring you comfort and joy in times of stress.


Though it sometimes felt as if He wasn't listening, He ultimately came to my aid. Many, many moons later, I came to an unforeseen fork in the road. Just as I thought this person that had caused me so much pain was redeeming himself, He saw fit to take him away. It is something that I continue to question, especially in those quiet, reflective times we all have. There have been several twists and turns to my story and will likely continue to be, but I now try to accept things as God's Will, right or wrong.



I will never believe that a person who is saved or unsaved is better than the other. However, I do think that we are better off when we have something stronger and more powerful than us to cling to. In such a vast universe, we are very small. Perhaps even more imporant, is for us to remember to cherish those that we take for granted in our everday lives. I was raised in a large family and love our family celebrations. It is comforting to know that even as we grow apart, we can still come together as one to be there for each other.


A coworker and I were having a conversation about 9/11 the other day and she shared a very moving story of a friend of hers. She said that her friend was expecting and her husband had to take an overnight business to trip to New York. He found himself in Tower Two on the morning of September 11th. Needless to say, communications were down and his wife had no way of knowing his fate for hours. The stress caused her to go into labor and she was declared that she was not going to give birth to that baby on the same day her husband may've died. Through sheer force of will and maybe a little divine intervention, she kept that baby at bay until the early hours of September 12th. Thankfully and by the grace of God, her husband did survive and it took him all week to get home to her and his newborn baby. If that isn't the miracle of life, I don't know what it is.


As my dearest friend in the world can attest, life is fragile and must not be taken for granted. Her mother is lying in the critical care unit and there are few answers as to why. I hope she and her wonderful mom can feel the prayers and love being sent their way. Let us remember the lesson that Leslie recounts, "find the time to get to know Him and fall in love. His are the eyes you've been looking for."