Color Today Blue

Today was a very long day. It began early as I got the kids ready for school. I had taken the day off to attend the funeral of an old family friend. As I was getting ready to head out the door with the kids, the phone rings. As I answer it, I hear DH on the other end and he did not sound like himself at all. Immediately I sensed something was wrong and he was hard for me to hear. It took me a couple of times to fully understand what he was trying to tell me. Then I realized his father had died last night. It was so sudden and sad to hear all this first thing in the morning. DH said he was headed home as he just couldn't focus at work, understandably so.

I finally got the kids to school, albeit late at that point. I came back home to spend a little time with DH before I had to leave. We chatted awhile and then I left to go to the DEQ Clean Air Station, a necessary step in order to renew our license plate tags (they expire this month). Then I had to stop at Target to get a few things, then I drove the 45 minutes to meet my parents in Salem. We visited and ate lunch at Olive Garden. About 1:00, we left to attend the funeral in nearby Silverton.

The service was very lovely, just like our family friend, Carol. She was a gracious and caring woman towards everyone. I was grateful for the chance to pay my respects to her family. I ducked out of the reception following in order to get home to DH and the kids. In no mood to cook, I grabbed McDonalds for dinner. The kids were happy-go-lucky and none the wiser that they had suffered a tremendous loss today. We told them what had happened, but they didn't really seem to fully process what it meant. My oldest kind of understood, but thankfully was able to go about his day with relative ease. The wonderful gift of youth is that amazing ability to bounce back quickly.

I thought a lot about lost loved ones today. It brought me back to that dark place I struggled to leave behind four years ago. In the space of four months, I lost both of my grandfathers to cancer and nearly lost my natural father. For these and many other reasons, it was a taxing year that left me emotionally-drained in a way I'd never experienced. I had no choice but to deal with it and move forward. What other choice is there? I feel so sad for my husband and hope that this hole in his heart heals well. To lose a parent is never easy and always complicated. To anyone reading this, hug someone you love just a little bit longer and make sure they know you care. As we all know, you never can know if it will be the last one.