Parent to the beat of your own drum...

I watched an interview with Mayim Bialik of Blossom fame at Spotlight on Nightlight. Her views and child-reading methods are being considered somewhat controversial. What I find fascinating about the backlash in the media is that some jump to conclusions about her without knowing all the facts, just because she played "Blossom." What could some hasbeen actress possibly know? Here is a highly educated woman who has earned bachelor's degrees in neuroscience, Hebrew, and Jewish Studies and went on to receive her PhD. in neuroscience. She researched her choices heavily and made no decision lightly. Whether you agree or disagree with her choices, her eloquence is amazing and inspiring (IMHO).

Which is the best approach to parenting is quite the topic for discussion. There are so many areas to choose from and so many opinions that it can leave your head spinning. And the scariest part of raising a child begins right at birth. Should you breastfeed or bottlefeed? Should the baby sleep with you, next to you, or in another room entirely? Should you use cloth or disposable diapers? Should you feed your baby store-bought food or puree it yourself? Right out of the gate, you are impacting your child's future with your choices and the stress of that never really ends as they grow up. That is an overwhelming notion, even for the most confident parent.

That is why I admire the mavericks who parent to the beat of their own drum, critics be damned. Don't get me wrong, there is a fine line between a healthy dose of different and a dash of detrimental. For example, there are those who believe that you should only breastfeed for six months to a year and that's good enough. Then there are those more extreme cases where the people nurse for literally years. I think there should be a balance there...if the kid can pour themselves a glass a milk then they oughta be done. :) My mom told me that breastfeeding was considered a thing of the past in her youth, so she was encouraged to bottlefeed me. As for my own kids, nursing lasted for 13 months with my son and 18 months with my daughter, so you be the judge.

I admire Mayim Bialik for her courage to speak out about her choices and stick to her guns. (And yes, she might be nursing in the photo but it's hard to tell for sure...so kudos to her again for just being herself). That's the beauty of freedom and parenthood, you get to choose what works best for you and yours. Special thanks to another amazing mother whose blog always inspires me to keep a strong faith and to believe in what you do.

Seeing Red

K went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago and discovered she is farsighted and has Amblyopia in her left eye. Amblyopia has been referred to as "lazy eye," but we were informed that this is a misnomer. She has not complained about her eyes at all, except when she is given a sight test. The doctor prescribed glasses for her to wear all the time. She'll go back in about a month to have another evaluation to see if she'll need eye therapy to help with her progress. She picked out her own glasses and the color (with a little help from DH and I). We went to pick them up and K was shown how to properly care for her new lenses and how to be careful with them. Since her left eye has an already strong stigmatism for her age, she'll likely have to wear them indefinitely. The good news is that we caught her vision issues early enough that the Amblyopia may clear up within a couple of years, but the far-sightedness is here to stay. The silver lining is that there is always Lasik surgery when she's older. :) DH is hoping to have the surgery himself sometime within the next year or two. Here is our cutie pie...

K before

With her new red glasses

Always the ham

My beautiful girl with her fabulous new eyes.

Our Pretty Floor

BEFORE

AFTER

Our living room complete with new laminate flooring and new area rug. Whew! What an undertaking the whole thing was! Took awhile to get things back in order, but so worth the wait!

Enlightenment and Enchantment

This has been an incredibly busy week, but Thursday was particularly crazy. I have a number of family and some friends that I've been trying to figure out how to spend quality time with, but found my free time quickly running out. I start back to work this coming Monday. So I opted to double up and have a really long day to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

The kids and I got up really early to go to the mall to meet my kind-of-cousin. The short of it is, my uncle had twin girls and then divorced their mother. She would go onto give birth to another set of fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. The boy, Brad, was born with cerebral palsy and currently has an 80% hearing loss. Anyhow, we've seen each other a handful of times over the years at various family functions, but it's been a LONG time since the last time. To be honest, I barely had a chance to get to know him when I was younger, but always found him to be very sweet. I was nervous that I wouldn't know what to say (since I didn't know him very well) as I am very bad at small talk.

Well, we reconnected on Facebook and decided to meet up since he was living in my neck of the woods now. We met at the mall and had a really nice time. My kids were wonderful and they got along great with Brad. My kids can be very blunt with their questions sometimes (just their childlike curiosity), but they were very respectful of him and really impressed me. He entertained them with the controls on his power wheelchair as he spinned around and kept me panting to keep up, which he thought was quite funny. :)

He recently had surgery to get a cochlear implant, so he was struggling with a little pain. He told me he does have to read lips and relies on sign language from time to time. He has overcome so much in his life and has such a positive energy about him. I am hearing impaired myself to a certain extent, but cannot afford a hearing aid at this time (insurance doesn't cover it), so it was great to learn how he's handled his. He gave me some great advice on some options, so I was grateful for that. He is one of those true angels on earth and I am so glad we had this get-together.

As for the rest of the day's plans, I had to say goodbye to Brad so the kids and I could meet up with their Grandpa, my natural father. We drove to Salem, which was about 45 minutes away, to go to the Enchanted Forest. It's sort of an amusement park as it has some rides, but it specializes in bringing fairy tales to life in different ways. I hadn't been to this park in many many years, so I was excited for the afternoon of fun ahead of us.

We were all famished, so we ate some lunch first. Then we hit the trail and the kids began their adventure into fantasy land. N was a little iffy about everything at first. He thought maybe he was too old for all the kiddie stuff, he's almost nine years old after all ;0). However, it didn't take him long to open up to the fun of it all and ended up having a blast. We splurged on some extra tickets so we could tour the haunted house and go the log ride.

There was a lot of walking involved up and down hills, so we rested up a bit. While the kids played on a wraparound slide, I chatted with my dad. He mentioned an interesting question K had asked him at one point during the day. K is known to say and ask some very offbeat things, so I always expect something creative from her. Anyhow, he says she asks him why he gave me away to my other dad (or something to that affect). He said he told her simply that he was my first daddy and was then raised by my second daddy (forget the exact wording). I thought that was the perfect answer. She lit up at the mention of her name, so I told her I was fortunate enough to have two daddies. She tells me that when she grows up, she's gonna have two daddies too...I had to smile at her kid logic.

By late afternoon, we got some waffle cones and took in the free water show. It was getting late, so we called it a day. I was so glad we had this wonderful day with Grandpa as he doesn't get to see them too often. About halfway home, I stopped at Walmart to get a few things and then went home. Our dog had been cooped up all day, so we took her for a short walk and then to the park to run around for a bit. By the time I put my feet up to rest, I was very tired. It was a long day, but a very lovely day.

Campout '09

This past weekend we went on our second annual campout with two other families. DH has two best friends that he has known since high school. Brian is married to Rosalee and they have four children and another due in November. Troy is a single dad with three daughters. We left about midday on Friday to make the almost two hour drive to the campground, located near Mt. Hood. The guys each had a walkie talkie that they treated like their CBs, complete with call signs. They were very cute as they channeled their inner Smokey and the Bandits throughout our little caravan to the site.

Upon our arrival, we discovered that our favorite spot from last year was already taken. And much to our dismay, almost every site was filled up. Fortunately, we got the second to last one available. It was strange that so many people were at this particular campground, given it's very remote location. Last year, we were one of only a handful of families there. This year was quite busy.

Anyhow, we unloaded the vehicles and began to set up the tents. It took DH and I a little awhile to set up our tent as it was brand new, but we finally figured it out. DH is quite the city boy and this was his first time ever setting one up. I grew up camping with my family, but am somewhat limited in my own experience with putting up tents. We had a cabin-style tent for years and slept on little pads that we simply rolled up (long before the ever popular air mattress caught on). I remember clearing out rocks and collecting tree branches to roast our hot dogs and marshmallows with. By middle school, my parents had had enough of the tent lifestyle and bought their first camper. Nowadays, I still love being outside, but would much prefer roughing it in a camper or trailer of my own (if only!).

We quickly learned that we were in for a tough weekend when the gnats and yellowjackets began to welcome us. Whenever there was any food out, the bees would swarm and drive us crazy. Meals were eaten at lightning speed. The best part of the day was at dusk when they went to bed and finally gave us some peace. We roasted marshmallows and enjoyed s'mores over the campfire. The kids loved this so much and it was hard to cut them off.

DH and I also had an interesting first night and didn't get much sleep. We slept on air mattresses, however, the ground underneath was uneven and sloped downhill a bit. Throughout the night I would find myself sliding off. It became almost comical as I would wake up every other hour and try to inch my way back up the mattress in my slippery sleeping bag. The second night was much better though as I figured out how to stay on better.

The guys took the kids bike-riding through the campground. DH went on a hike with N and said they saw 3 or 4 does fairly close up. I took some of the kids on various walks through the woods and we hiked along the creekbed. We saw quite a few chipmunks running around. At one point, they got to go wading around in the glacial water...ooooh is that stuff is freezing cold! Last year, the creek was right next to our site, but this year we couldn't access it as easily. The guys took off for a couple of hours to go target shooting and some male bonding time. Rosie and I relaxed by the firepit as the kids happily made mud pies, dirt casseroles, and other such woodsy treats.

There were some stresseful and crabby moments for all of us, but overall we had a wonderful time. DH had mixed feelings about the experience as he definitely missed the comforts of home, but he gave it a valiant effort for us. We are already talking about things we may get for next year to make it better. Except for those pesky bees, I loved hanging out with my family and friends in the great outdoors.

Sipping hot cocoa by the morning campfire.

Buddies

Tour de France?

Gathering their walking sticks.

The boys wading in the creek.

Looking for rocks to skip.

Enjoying the woodland wonderland.

DH took up whittling.

The guys playing cribbage.

Our campsite.

Our tent.

Catching a moment with my little guy.

My how they've all grown!

Floor Rid Of

After 7 years of wear and tear, our floors had had it. We went back and forth on what to replace our stained, wornout carpet with. Ultimately, we opted for laminate flooring. In terms of quality, it falls somewhere between pergo and hardwood. We almost went to a professional installation company, but were fortunate enough to have close friends and family (who work in construction) to help us out by installing it for much less money. Don't get me wrong, it was a costly investment and we're feeling the pinch now, but hopefully we'll see a return when we eventually sell our townhouse.

I spent several weeks getting everything ready. Every available space was cluttered with our stuff to clear out the living/dining great room. My dad, his business partner/family friend, one DH's best friends, and my nephew all came up to help put the flooring in. The whole process took 2 days or so. We are still adjusting to the change and putting the house back in order. We hope to get a couple of area rugs to soften and balance out the newlook. Will post a picture of the final look as soon as we accomplish that goal, in the meantime here are is a look at all the work that went into the new flooring.

BEFORE

Clearing things out to open up the living room.

Almost ready...

An example of some of the carpet damage courtesy of our dog (we still love her though!).

DURING

Goodbye carpet, hello concrete.

Men at work.

A work in progress...

AFTER

Putting on the finishing touches.

Voila!

We're still getting things back in order, so will post more pics when all is lovely again. :)

Seasons Must Change

I've noticed that some of the leaves around here are already beginning to turn, revealing that autumn is right around the corner already. I am sad to the summer coming to an end, but I do look forward to harvest season, trips to the pumpkin patch, trick-or-treating, and all the other wonderful things that come with fall. In case you're wondering why I didn't mention school, it's because as much as I love my teaching job and classes, I never look forward to going back to work. I love my time with my own kids too much, so it's an annual struggle within me to get back into the groove of the labor force.

To make matters worse, that wonderful "edusomnia" is back and causing me to toss and turn many a night. Instead of counting sheep, I count how many lessons I need to write, pencils to sharpen, and papers to file. You would think that alone would put anyone to sleep. Well, instead of completely fighting it, I thought I would honor the coming changes of the season with one of my favorite short poems by Robert Frost. BTW, I did not take the photo below, it just looked beautiful and fit well with the poem. LOL. Hope you enjoy it!




Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost


Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold,
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Lights, Camera, Astoria!

The kids have been watching The Goonies on TV a lot lately and began asking all kinds of questions about it. Luckily, we live just a little over an hour away from where it was filmed, so we decided to surprise them with a daytrip to Astoria yesterday. Since the movie was made almost 25 years ago, things a have changed a little bit. However, it still has the same charm that has been attracting Hollywood filmakers for years. Kindergarten Cop, Short Circuit, Free Willy, Come See the Paradise, and even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III to name a few. There's just something really lovely about this coastal town. It is the northernmost city in Oregon and the oldest settlement west of the Rockies.

We took the kids there when N was still a toddler and K was just a baby, so you can imagine how much they remember of that trip. Anyhow, we drove straight up into the hills to see the historic tower, otherwise known as the Astoria Column. It stands at 125 feet tall and overlooks the Columbia River. We decided to climb the 164 steps of the spiral staircase all the way to the top. The kids and hubby had a ball of course, but I was pretty much glued to the wall. To keep a promise to DH, I looked over the railing for the kids' benefit, but then it was back to the sidewall. I couldn't believe how fearless they all were. I just don't handle heights very well. It's like my whole body becomes frozen and my nerves cause me to shake. The view was beautiful though, I will admit. After we finished our descent back down the stairs (that was the fun part!), we briefly checked out the gift shop.

Next, we drove around Astoria a little to show the kids the area. We crossed over the bridge and they got a kick out of how close we were to the water. We drove back down through Seaside and grabbed some lunch at Girtle's Seafood and Steakhouse. Then we walked around the downtown shops for a bit before going back home. We let our dog do her business and then headed back out to do some back-to-school shoe shopping for the kids. There was a big sale going on at Famous Footwear, so we had to take advantage of it. Overall, it was a fabulous way to spend the day. These family trips don't get to happen as often as we like so I always cherish the time we get to have together.

Checking out the area

View from atop the Astoria Column (it was a cloudy day)

Another breathtaking view

County Fair

Last week, the county fair was in town so I took the kids to it. We had spent the day before working hard around the house, so I promised them a day of play. We were nearing the end of our heat wave, so we went in the morning when it was still somewhat tolerable. The Kids each got to choose a couple of rides to go on as the ticket prices were a bit on the spendy side, so we had to be selective. They chose the bungee bounce (forget the name), bumper cars (I had accompany to K on this one since she couldn't reach the pedals), funhouse, haunted pirate cove, and the roller coaster for their grand finale.

The bungee bounce was their favorite by far. They got to each get rocked it way up into the air. N wanted to climb the rock wall. Since it was the first activity of the day and already reaching the upper nineties, I was afraid overheat and he'd tire himself out right off the bat. I encouraged him to try the bungee bounce instead, which he ended up loving.

We also checked out the animals. They had quite a nice variety this year. We saw guinea pigs, chickens, roosters, rabbits, cows, horses, miniature ponies, and more. Never quite made it over to the pigs and goats barn. There was a couple of gals who were kind enough to let the kids pet their horses. K could've stayed their all day just gazing at them. She loves her horses so.

Then they played a couple of carnival games and K won a yellow stuffed duckie, whom she named Halo. Since I'm a sucker for snacky food at these things, they definitely didn't starve. I let them have some cotton candy and slushies to keep cool. We also enjoyed a heaping plate of curly fries (not too tasty though), while we enjoyed a kidsshow put on by a local dance troupe. It was shaded in the seating area, so this was a nice break from the heat. I was very tempted to get an elephant ear, but then thought better of it (the scale is always a nice reminder of keeping myself in check...most of the time anyway). Anyhow, by 2 o'clock, it was getting pretty hot so we headed home. I had the kids cool off at home in the sprinkler for a little bit before having some quiet time.

The 3 of us checking out the animals.

Petting an adorable young horse.

K can't get enough of the horses.

That ball of fluff is a bunny rabbit.

Dare we climb this thing?

Nope! It's more fun to bungee jump!

Look Mom! I can fly!

Two future drivers. Scary stuff!

Brave enough to go into the haunted house.


Is it just me or is just a bit tacky to advertise a steak dinner feed on the same building that is showing off the blue ribbon cows?

Wordless Wednesday

Mother Warriors

There is a number of topics I have considered off limits for this blog and kept private. One of those topics has been the fact that my son has some special needs and just never wanted to discuss it in this format. However, I have come across numerous blogs in recent months that echo many of my own stories and concerns, for which I have been very grateful for. One my dearest friends has shared her son's medical struggles since his birth and has been inspiring in so many ways...yes you Rosalee :). This made me realize it wouldn't be such a bad thing to share an occasional tidbit here and there.

I can't possibly share the entire journey as it goes back years, but I will give it to you in a nutshell. Since the age of about two and a half, I noticed something was a bit different about my son, socially. DH and I could never quite put our finger on it, being new parents we had nothing to compare him to. He hit all his milesstones and was very gifted intellectually. Our pediatrician and his preschool teachers assumed he was just immature for his age and would likely catch up to his peers down the line. Well, by the time he was in Kindergarten, his teacher and I KNEW that something was wrong. Thus, we began what would become a three year odyssey to find some answers to our questions.

I can't tell you how many labels were tossed around by the experts, including autism (in my heart I knew that wasn't it). We chased our tail for what seemed like forever. Last summer, my son was diagnosed with Complex Tic Disorder (related to Tourette's), and mild forms of ADD and OCD. Medication was suggested as one course of treatment, but we had to be careful as the wrong one could exacerbate his tics, since that was his primary diagnosis. We opted to wait on the meds for now and look into all of our options first.

This past school year, he has received some special interventions and was also identified as TAG. It has been his most successful year so far and has made tremendous progress. We have been lucky that his teachers have always been wonderful and very nurturing. N is sweet as can be, smart as a whip, and extremely artistic. We try to keep him busy with activities that interest him (same with his sister). This summer he has taken swim lessons and is now in a graphic art class, which he loves. He has his moments still, but is definitely on the right path now. Both my hubby and my brother have battled with ADD, and then at Christmas, I also came to find out that two of his cousins have tic disorders, so they are just genetic quirks within the family. Every family has its thing, this is just one of ours.

Long before I was dealing with any of these issues and was working with teen mothers, I once attended a training seminar on ADD and alternative methods of treatment. I remembered that diet and environment can have an adverse affect on those afflicted with ADD/ADHD. As a teacher, I took the environmental tips seriously but largely ignored the dietary portion of the training. You can imagine how I've kicked my self in the years since. Then last summer I happened to pick up a new author and felt an immediate connection to her and oh how the aha! moments have continued.

Right now, I'm currently reading Mother Warriors: A Nation of Parents Healing Autism Against All Odds by Jenny McCarthy and am very moved by the stories within this book. Now I realize my son doesn't have autism, but I can relate to her story in many other ways. If you have never read any of Jenny's books, I urge you to pick one up. While most people know her from Mtv's Singled Out or from Playboy, I have to say she truly is multidimensional. She began her authorial journey by writing about the underbelly of pregnancy, the stuff no one wants to talk about. She has a no holds bar style that is very raw, very honest, and often very funny. She continued her newfound career by writing about her son's early years and some life transitions she experienced. She had a very light-hearted approach and a very real way of sharing her stories. Her books are easy reads and very relateable.

Then she made the heartwrenching discovery that her son has autism and decided to share this part of her life with the world in her best work, Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism. This decision was just the beginning of another chapter for her. She has since become the voice of parents everywhere who are fighting and winning the battle against autism. Many in the medical community dismiss her claims that her son has recovered from autism, despite the fact that she has countless examples of his gains. She has pursued what are considered "alternative treatments" in addition to the normal speech and behavioral therapy interventions. She has joined forces with many other parents and doctors who support and have evidence that these alternatives do in fact work. Through diet and and a few other things, their children are healing. Jenny is quick to point out that autism cannot be "cured" at this time, but the symptoms can be treated just like diabetics can't cure their problems, but through proper diet and monitoring, they can live a fruitful life.

Jenny and a doctor she has partnered with have written book together that I will read next called Healing and Preventing Autism Co-written with Dr. Jerry Kartzinel. They state that these dietary changes can also work for other disorders such as ADD. I don't know just yet what I will do as we have never really considered diet as a solution. Not sure how I feel about this for our family needs, but it's worth reading up on at the very least. Just some food for thought (no pun intended).

Why am writing about Jenny McCarthy you might ask? What I found most inspiring about her was how she fought for her son. No one knows a child like their mother. This is not to say that fathers aren't just as important, but a mother carries their child for nine months, gives birth, and is forever attached to them...heart, mind, and soul. Oftentimes, doctors and other professionals can be dismissive of parental concerns and label them as overprotective. While that may be true in some cases, I believe strongly that a mother knows when something just isn't right with their child and must advocate for them as needed.