On my own

Well, Hubby has given me his crud and I've passed mine onto him. I guess misery loves company. He called in sick for once. He could barely move he felt so sick. I had to go in. Even though I had another monster headache and should've just stayed in bed, I just popped some pills to keep me afloat for class. One pleasant surprise awaiting me today was the fact that the sub who has been with me for two weeks had to go help out in another class that had not teacher. It's not that I don't appreciate her, but I have only been given a couple of opportunities to teach without anybody else around watching me. To run the class how I see fit and not fretting about someone peeking over my shoulder was a refreshing change.

What was kinda funny was that a few different people poked their heads in to see if I was okay. I assured them that we were chugging right along without any problems. I've been at this awhile now and it's like any new job. It takes time to learn the ropes, but once you get the hang of things you hit your stride. I'm in the process of doing that now. I think teachers are very much like new parents trying to let go of their child for the first time and trusting that they can make it on their own. Anyhow, today went much all of the others as of late, pretty darn good. Some of my students have even come up to me to tell me they like me as their teacher. Regardless of anything the adults say, the kids' opinions mean the most to me. They have my heart in this whole thing.

I'm a babbling brook...

With the exception of attending the job fair on Saturday morning, that was the last teaching-related thing I did. It felt nice to get my life back to normal a couple days. Fridays are our family night out for dinner (or takeout) or a date night if we are ever lucky enough to get away. I swore off doing any homework on Saturdays a long time ago as a way of keeping my priorities straight. We ususally devote this day to hanging out with friends. Our friends have kids too so they all get a weekly play date. Everybody's happy. Sunday is usually homework day. I have had so much to do that it takes me hours to get it all done and it is an ongoing process.

Well, after tossing and turning all night on Saturday because I dreamed about editing my first graders' stories. I would wake up and each time I tried to shake the dream, it popped back into my head. Didn't get a lot of sleep and it didn't help that my body clock woke me way earlier than I wanted. We decided to take advantage of our early morning and had breakfast Krispy Kreme for a treat. Yes I know, it's so bad for you and tastes so good. We hadn't been there for over a year, so it was fun for the kids as they watched them make the doughnuts. Then we went househunting just for kicks. Couldn't afford anything we looked at, but it was still nice to dream.

By the time we got home we were all fairly tired. I set out to start some homework only to get sidetracked doing something else. I was so tired, but couldn't sleep so I just veged all night in front of the TV. Couldn't consider the night a waste though because I got some laundry done, made enchiladas for the fam, and then watched The Academy Awards. Pretty good telecast, but that is a whole other blog. I was unhappy that Eddie didn't get his Oscar, but at least I got to bed at a halfway decent hour and had didn't dream about editing again.

Even though I got about 6 1/2 hours of sleep, it was not nearly enough. Today was the 100th day of school, so we had a big celebration. It was nice not to have to focus on teaching core stuff and just have a good time with the kids, however I got a killer sinus headache by early afternoon. Thought I could go home right after school only to find out I had to go to a staff meeting. When that was done, I also realized I needed to go to run a couple of errands. I'm going to completely digress for a moment...

Keep in mind that my monster headache is on overload as all of this is going on. I walk into Target to exchange the Swiffer wet pads that I had bought. Hubby informed me that I had the wrong kind and needed the dry pads. So I go to guest services only to be told that I had exceeded my two-a-year exchange allotment. Apparently, you only get two a year without a receipt. I used mine up right after Christmas when I returned a couple stuff for the kids. Well, I told them that I didn't need a refund, just a didn't type of Swiffer pad and was willing to pay any difference. No sweat off their backs, right? Well, no.

The clerk and manager that I spoke to told me that their computer just wouldn't allow it. Okay, now I have absolutely nothing against Target. However, I do have a problem with the fact that these women advised me to get my husband to use his ID to return it on my behalf to bypass their system...and yet they couldn't simply swap the boxes on the shelf to bypass their system. I'm just frustrated that I just wanted to get the right kind of Swiffer pads. I didn't think to keep the receipt for something like that as I had no idea that I would be returning them. So a word of caution, save your receipts if you ever want to bring something back. Stores are getting way harsh in their policies. Yes, I digress...:)

So I went on home with wonderful headache, Swiffer wet pads, some library stuff, and a chance to relax. After getting the kids situated, I crashed on the couch. After a quick dinner of leftovers, I slipped into a nice hot bath with some Aromatherapy bath salts. Just like milk, that totally does a body good. Aaaah, now I feel better. Even with no Calgon to take me away, th Advil finally did.

Crazymaking

I started this blog as a way of venting random stuff. It makes me very transparent I suppose, but it helps my emotional health. I don't believe in bottling up everything and then exploding when it becomes too much to handle. When I have a lot on my plate, I also become easily stressed. The more the anxiety builds in me the more tangled my thoughts become. It becomes this freaky cycle that requires me to get things off my chest in some form by either talking it out or just writing it down. It's very cathartic actually. If I don't blow off the steam, I obsess and overanalyze the pettiest things. It's a little crazymaking actually. For instance:

As some of you know, I have been dealing with a very intense Cooperating Teacher during my student teaching placement. It has been a tough road thus far and is truly pushing me to my limit. I have vented in various ways, but the dark cloud remains. I feel bad after I complain about him, but I feel better for telling someone what it's been like. It's kind of a vicious cycle. I think at this point I need to stop my bellyaching and just get past the fact that this is how it is and move on. My time is already half over, so the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. Tomorrow morning I am going to a job fair in hopes of networking for a good teaching position. I used to work in the district until I went to the sub list to finish up school. Now I just hope I can get back in.

Wow, it is a slow day when the only thing I can think to blog about is why I like to blog. Go figure. I did get to spend some quality time with my fam this evening. We decided we didn't want to worry about money for a night and went to dinner to Shari's. The kids and I met my hubby after work. It was fun for all of us. Then while my husband and son went home in one car. my daughter and I went to Target. We got very sidetracked as we windowshopped and checked out the toy section. I found some cute Easter giffies and hid them in in the shopping cart when K wasn't looking. I can't afford to get stuff for my kids as often I'd like, but I always make sure they get something special on the holidays. Easter is a cute celebration and we have a blast getting ready for it. so in honor of the upcoming vist from 'ol bunny ears...happy TGIF and have a laugh on me...:)

The Ick Factor

After slaving over my work sample for most of yesterday, I finally called it quits about 2am. I was pretty tired, but my body clock still woke me up about 8:30am. My dog wanted outside to tinkle, so I got up. Everyone else was still sleeping, so I stayed downstairs to work on more homework. My son came down a bit later and quietly did his own homework too. We stayed that way until about 10am I heard a bellowing come up above.

My husband starts yelling for me to come upstairs right away. I could sense the irritation in his voice. Not wanting to be interrupted when I was almost finished with grading papers, I reluctantly got up anyway. I found him in our daughter's room and then the foul odor hit me. As I scanned the room, I realized that somehow the explosion that had come out of our daughter's butt had trickled all over the floor. She had apparently played in various spots and the soupy substance had seeped out of her pullups and pajamas. My loving hubby said "I'll clean her if you'll clean the floor and bedding." I already knew who had the better job and it wasn't me. He just had to dunk her in the bathtub and she was as good as new.

On the other hand, my journey lasted a bit longer. I squirted some 409 stain remover on the carpet and let it soak for a few minutes. I rinsed out the bedding, squirted some Spray 'n Wash on the stains, and threw it in the wash. When I returned to scrub the carpet, I began to notice a few random ants. I was puzzled as to why ants would be in my daughter's room as she never has food in there. As I investigated more, I saw that they were coming from the baseboard behind her bed. Hubby helped me pull the bed out further out and I found K's collection of miscellaneous toys that she'd dropped over the last year.

As I began to pick up the toys one by one, I squirted a special indoor ant spray that works wonders called Bug Stop. I worked my way along the baseboard and discovered the source of all this trouble and largest concentration of ants. Several months ago K had gotten sick and threw up all over her bed. Well, we apparently missed some of it as I found dried vomit crusted over the baseboard. Can we say "EEEEEEWWWW!!!" Needless to say, I was icked out and immediately cleaned and sprayed all along the flooring. I opened a window to air out her room. Anyone who knows me is aware of my neurotic disgust for ants. Where there's one there is always more and that drives me crazy. It's the weather bringing them out. It is always my cue to do some spring cleaning.

After that wonderful experience, I ran a couple of errands with my son. We stopped to split a strawberry milkshake. Now I am finally back home and content to get back to working on my homework and stuff. That has been my Monday in a nutshell. Productive, but just a tad gross. At least the house is getting sparkling clean bit by bit. As a treat, hubby is making a glazed ham with pineapple and scalloped potatoes for dinner. My mouth is already watering. Got lots done as far as homework goes too. And tonight Heroes is on! I'm a happy girl.

Pizza Party

Well, last night was a nice end to a crazy week. In addition to braving the minefield that is my CT, I've also been battling a nasty cold too. I even went home halfway through the day on Thursday because I was so out of it. It took a lot for me to miss class as it is highly frowned upon, but the staff were insistent as they didn't want to catch what I had. It was good to go home and sleep.

We went out on Friday night to Izzy's Pizza with some friends of ours. None of us can usually afford to go out with all of the kids unless it is a birthday party, but last night was an exception. Brian, Rosie, and their four kids met us at the restaurant. It was a belated Valentine celebration for us all. I love getting to do stuff like that as we don't get to do it too often.

Today we spent the whole morning cleaning up the house as it needed it badly. We tend to get together with our friends every Saturday and take turns hosting. Tonight is our turn, so we tried to make the house somewhat presentable. As I vaccuumed, I realized how much I want to fix up stuff or change it up. We've talked about replacing the carpet with wood flooring at some point, but that will cost a pretty penny. All good things come to those who wait I guess. It's a challenge to be patient for so long though. Gotta finish getting my resume stuff together for the career fair next week. Here's hoping for a job after all this is said and done...;)

Sniff Sniff

Colds are just not all they're cracked up to be. That's what I have and it's in full force. In the tradition of TMI, I can't count how many tissues I've gone through today. I swear, I have sniffed to that point where you can't sniff anymore, but when you try to blow your nose nothing comes out. What's really frustrating is when you feel one side beginning to run, but you can't do much more than wipe it away because you've practically popped a blood vessel from blowing your nose so hard. And to no avail, the cold continues to win the battle. And by the way, I do realize this is just more detail than anyone needs to know, but it's your choice to keep reading...:)

You know that feeling where you're head is so full of stuff that you can't hear too well? That's not a good thing for me because it renders me borderline deaf. I am currently teaching first graders how to read, so it's important for me to hear the letter sounds that they make. Well, I can no longer hear the "th" sound, among others. As I attempted to get through the morning, my misery was quickly becoming apparent. I have to be pretty much on my deathbed to miss a day of student teaching, so I had no choice but to report to work. Well, with mind was very foggy and so thinking clearly was out of the question. I felt like a zombie for much of the day.

It wasn't the most romantic Valentine's day on record as a result. My husband wanted us to go out with the kids, but I felt too yucky. I just was in no mood to be out and about after surviving the school day and having to do it all over again tomorrow. So he nuked us a quick meal and that was that. We agreed to make it up on Friday night and will go out for dinner. Kids will join us because childcare is a bit spendy for us at the moment. Anyway, it will be a nice treat for us all at the end of a busy week. This will be a three day weekend of...drumroll please...homework. Shocking, eh? The good news is that I will be wrapping up my work sample, prepping my resume for the upcoming job fair, and grading some papers. And I chose this life, right?

I will be hitting the hay here shortly. Just got done watching American Idol, which I would either have to be in class or pretty much on my deathbed to miss. Tonight they announced the final 24 contestants and I've missed it last season due to grad school and so I was determined to see it this year. To be honest though, I am not so confident with all of their decisions. They let some really talented people go in favor of some only so-so performers. However, they did get a handful of them right and I can't wait to see them shine. That's what I love about this show. It may be exploitive of the drama that swirls the audition process, but it has launched a lot of careers. It will be an interesting season to say the least. I am off to bed now. My CT is gone for a week and a half for personal reasons, so I am totally in charge without him peeking over my shoulder. It will be a great test for me. There will be a sub present for legal purposes, but it's on me to teach.

Simon, Randy, and Paula...I'm ready for my solo. Just keep in mind I have a cold.

Have you lost that lovin feelin?

It is that time of year again, the time when couples get to snuggle up for a romantic evening and remind themselves why they mean so much to each other. Or if you are like me, you come home slap a dinner together because you're too tired to think, hang out with the kids for awhile, give your honey a quick peck and it's off to do some more homework. The mind is beyond fried. That is how I envision this Valentine's day will likely go. We haven't been able to afford to go out for this holiday for the last few years. I am really hoping that with us both working at better jobs we will finally resume a semblence of normalcy. We take those little moments for granted until we lose them.

My son and I are gonna work on making some Valentines for his classmates later today, so that will be fun. I've been helping my CT prepare for our class party as well. I take over teaching pretty much everything this week, even though my full-time doesn't officially begin until next week. I foresee my brain exploding from stress by week's end. I can't remember if I have class on Wednesday night or not, so who knows it each day will unfold. I literally have to just take each day as it comes or I get too overwhelmed thinking about it all. I want to get away with my hubby for a weekend alone somewhere. Or even take the kids along and go somewhere new. I'm ready for school to be done and get back my life back.

Hollywierd

How true it is that life is stranger than fiction. Previous drama aside, Anna Nicole's last couple of years will likely go down in history as one of the great mysteries of pop culture. We all know that she started out as a fast food worker and married young. She gave birth to her son when she was eighteen (give or take a year). That marriage was short-lived, so she became a stripper to support her son and got her infamous breast implants. Now I'm not clear on the chronology here, but she went onto pose for Playboy, became Playmate of the Year, and eventually landed a gig as the Guess girl. At some point she married the oil tycoon that would change her life. Up until that point she had this great image, well that went into the toilet as she became known as a golddigger.

After his death, she would spend the next several years fighting in court over a large fortune. Her tenacity to see it through actually earned her respect in many circles. She came across as ditzy and drugged, but I think she was smarter than people realized. Except for her major weight gain and a crazy stint on her reality show, she had toned her actions down in recent years. It was surprising to me when she got pregnant for the second time, but when she moved to the Bahamas I started to respect her a little bit more. She seemed to just want some measure of privacy. If there anything that I learned about her, other than her wildcat ways, she truly loved her son.

To have him die three days after she gives birth to her daughter? None of us can truly understand what that must've been like. They were as close as a mother and son could get. Even with all of her off-the-wall behavior, she doted on Daniel. It was the one thing that seemed truly real about her. I'm not trying to paint a saint here, but she is human. To lose her son when she was probably going through a major hormonal shift in her body had to really throw her for a loop. She has said in interviews that her family back in Texas is always trying to hit her up for money and guilt her into helping them out. Her own mother speaks poorly of her in the press, but professes to only want the best for her? It's no wonder that she wants nothing to do with them. She probably can't trust too many people.

She led a fascinating life and was famous for just being who she was. It is way too coincidental that both Anna Nicole and her son Daniel died within six months of each other. And both deaths are very mysterious. The conspiracy theories must be numerous. It would be in the best interests of little Dannielynn to get the paternity situation figured out. That way she can be brought up away from the spotlight to live as normal a life as possible. If Larry Birkhead or Howard K. Stern s the father, I hope he will have enough sense to do that for his daughter. I am in awe of the fact that three different men claim to be this baby's father. It's like the soap opera that won't end. Much like her idol, Anna strived to live her life in the same extraordinory way. While she was a bit kookier and tabloi-friendly, she will be definitely be remembered for being beautiful. In the strangest twist yet, Hugh Hefner bought the plot next to Marilyn Monroe's grave for Anna. She professed years ago that she wanted to be buried next to her idol. Sounds like she'll get her wish. They don't call it Hollywierd for nothing.

Buckle up!

Okay, I'm getting tired of blogging about my student teaching escapades, so I will return to the old standby: conversations with my kids. I nickname these cute and clever tidbits "kidspeak." Don't ask me why, I just thought it sounded good. Anyhoo, so I am out running errands with my son and we have one of our notoriously nutty chats. I am trying to finish a phone call before driving to our next destination, but I keep getting interrupted. FYI, the "blah blah's" are just my ramblings on the phone and I can't remember specifics. Read on...

N: "Mommy, I'm buckled."

Me: "Blah, blah, blah..." (yakking on my cell)

N: "Mommy...mommy...I'm buckled.
N: "Mommy, did you hear me? I'm buckled."

Me: "Blah..."

N: "Mommy! Mommy! I'm buckled."

Me: "Okay honey....Blah, blah." (getting off the phone)

N: "Mommy, I said I'm buckled!"

Me: "I heard you! You're buckled. I got it." (I start the car)

N: "Mommy, I'm buckled. Mommy!"

Me: (whipping around) "Nicky! Nicky! Nicky! Nicky! I'm buckled! See?!"

Me: "I'm buckled Nicky! I'm buckled!"

N: "Stop that."

Me: "Do you like that when I say it over and over?"

N: "No."

Me: "Well, that's what you were doing to me while I was on the phone. Please don't do that. It's annoying."

N: "But Mommy, I'm buckled."

How can you argue with six-year old logic?

Nose for breakfast!

Oftentimes, my children have interesting things to say. It is times like that when I remember Bill Cosby's show Kids Say the Darnedest Things. While having our breakfast of Honeycomb cereal with chopped banana this morning, my son and I joked around about silly things to eat. It went something like this...

Me: "I'm gonna eat your nose."
N: "Then I can't smell."
Me: "Then I'm gonna ears."
N: "Then I'm won't be able to follow directions."
Me: "Then I'll have to eat your eyes."
N: "Then I won't be able to cry."
Me: "Then I'll eat your mouth."
N: "Then I won't be able to eat."
Me: "Then I'll have to eat your belly."
N: "Then all of the food will fall out."
Me: (laughing) "Sweetie, you are so cute."
N: "My turn. I'll have to eat your mouth Mommy."
Me: "Then I won't be able to talk."
N: "But you can use sign language."

There were a few more, but you get the idea. My son can so adorable in conversation. I really need to sit down and record these kind of moments. My babysitter gave me great idea to keep a notebook of the really kooky, cute, or amazing things that my kids say for later laughs when we're all older. She still does it for her own children. These are the days that most precious...:)

Hoppy Birthday Shelley!

In honor of my best friend's birthday tomorrow, I thought I'd list ten things about her that I truly love. Shelley isn't just anybody, she has been somebody that has been there through it all with me. I've never known anyone in my life quite like her and she is truly my touchstone. I hope she knows how happy I for her successes and how proud I am of the person she has become. FYI...watch your mail Shelley! Your gift is gonna little bit belated. In the meantime, enjoy...

Ten Things I Adore About Shelley

1. She is my kindred spirit.


2. She loves chips and salsa!


3. She'll watch the same movie over and over (i.e. Titanic!)
   
4. She has a heart of gold.


5. She goes out of her way to do for others, asking nothing in return.
   
6. She would never hang a "frog free zone" sign in her home.


7. She works hard for whatever she wants (i.e. law school, losing weight, finding Mr. Right)


8. She loves 80s music.


9. I can always count on her.
   
10. After 13 some years of friendship, we still find things to yak about.
    

Hoppy Birthday!!!

Busy as a Bee

I entered the classroom today and got quite the surprise. First, I noticed a different coat hanging on my CT's chair. It turned out to belong to a sub. My CT was out with a family medical emergency, so he left instructions for me to teach all day. The sub was pretty much just there for legal purposes. Needless to say, my heart caught in my throat.

The morning went pretty well actually. There was one moment when I had a ton of people watching me. Every morning the kids recite the Read Well alphabet chant and the second graders across the hall have been coming over to join in. In addition to two classes of children, I had the sub, the second grade teacher, three or four assistants, and another student teacher observing me lead this chant. I started off strong and then I suddenly became very aware of how many eyes were on me. My voice began to quiver and crack. It was strange how I couldn't stop it from happening. Mercifully, it ended fairly well and we moved on.

Then came the afternoon...ooooh baby was it rough. As I turned the kids loose to work on the math packets, I realized that some worksheets were missing for the next activity. After scouring the classroom from top to bottom, I had to wing it. I opted to do a fun read aloud and then tried to teach the kids how to play "fruit salad." I was basically filling time until the school counselor arrived to teach a social lesson. After about ten minutes, it was clear she wasn't going to show.

Even though I hadn't planned on teaching nutrition today, I happened to be prepared to do so...luckily. I taught a condensed version of the proteins food group. It was swift and sweet. Here's the kicker, just as I was getting materials ready to transition into the writing...the counselor arrived to teach her lesson. She saw me surprised look and said she always came at that time. We had just spoken at lunch and discussed the time so I was puzzled at who had made the mistake. Feeling frazzled from the hectic afternnon, I was actually grateful that she showed so that I could get some other pressing work done.

When the kids finally left for the day, I collapsed in a heap. My CT wanted me to write up a sub plan for him so when he returned he'd know what to do for the stuff that I'd been teaching recently. That felt a little odd to do. After finishing that, I hightailed to the sitter's to pick up my kids. Then we drove through rush hour traffic to the doctor's office for my son's appointment. Almost two hours later and with two very tired children, we finally went home. My hubby had dinner ready when we got there, for which I was eternally grateful for. I wanted to get some homework done also, but soon gave up on that notion. My brain was done thinking for the day.

I survived my first official stint as a real teacher. My CT is a real challenge at times for me to work under, but I do learn a lot from him. I am often second-guessing myself when I fail to do things just as he wants me to. However, he seemed to have enough confidence in me to turn over the reigns in a pinch, so that meant a lot. I still have to fight my insecurities and have more to learn, but I now know that I will make a good teacher. It will be a fight to the finish with school, but I truly force myself to keep my focus on the here and now. If I look to far ahead, it becomes too overwhelming. I like change to come in small doses.