Britt Brat

WARNING! Graphic blog ahead...After a long month of nonstop work, my health finally failed me today. We spend much of yesterday out shopping with my daughter. She and I were spending some quality time together while getting my son's birthday gifts. Well, we brought home some Chinese food from a local grocery store chain for dinner. All was well until about 3 am. I woke up with a nasty feeling in my stomach and lower back. Needless to say, I spent the next hour battling some sort of virul attack as I was in and out of the bathroom. When I finally crawled back to bed, I had to keep a tupperware bowl nearby just in case. I emptied my system of everything I'd eaten over the last week. I had hoped to wake up feeling like a ray of sunshine, but instead looked pale as a ghost.

Not sure what went wrong with my tummytumtum, I opted for the BRAT diet today. I believe BRAT stands for bananas, rice, apples, and toast. In essence, sticking with bland foods to keep everything at bay. So far so good. I'm getting better. Just working on some of my lessons for the coming week. I feel like I'm getting more efficient as each week goes by. I really need to get my sub plans prepared in the event I have a problem arise down the road. I am hopeful to be back to normal by tomorrow. So I'm trying to get my lessons in order just in case one of my kids gets this virus. Still don't know what I have, though a student of mine vomited in class the other day. Probably got it from him. Anyhow, hubby picked up some vitamins at Costco for us to start helping with our nutrient intake. I also want to get some Echinacea for additional protection.

Apples of my eye

Today is the first Sunday I've truly had off in literally four months. After I graduated from my teaching program last spring, I took a Sunday School job back in May to help make ends meet. Well, I've been pulling double-duty ever since I got my new teaching job almost a month ago with the local school district. Last week I said goodbye to everyone and even though I miss it there, it felt good to sleep in and hang out with my family again. To me, that is more important. We got right up and out the door this morning.

We decided to go to Krispy Kreme to have some doughnuts for breakfast. It was a specal treat for the kids as they love watching through the window as the doughnuts are made. Then we went over to a nearby housing development to window shop. I should I say dream and drool. These are higher-end homes that are way out of our range, but it's fun for us to look anyway. We hadn't done that in months. Then we headed over to Costco for some bulk groceries before heading over to Target to check out the "Scary Party." That's what the kids call the Halloween section. They enjoy looking at the grotesque decorations. Actually, hubby is the biggest kid of all. I get giddy over Christmas stuff, he gets the same way about Halloween. N decided he wants to be Harry Potter and K will be pretty in pink as a princess.

As a family, autumn is one of our favorite seasons. It's not just the beautiful colors of the trees that gets us. We love to get the costumes, deck the house out, and visit the pumpkin patch every year. The pumpkin patch we like to go to also specializes as an apple orchard, so we buy their honeycrisps and homemade cider every year. They offer a tour through their orchard and provide a haymaze. There's a bouncy apple to jump on and caramel apples to eat. It's become our tradition since we started going a few years ago. I think this will year number four or five...I've lost track. Anyway, the day started off sunny, but it's now raining. We are all back home and relaxing. I am so glad to escape the vortex that is my job for a couple of days before going back in for more. I was missing my kids and today made up for the whole week. As soon as I can get some new pictures downloaded, I'll post them. Take care!

A balancing act

Alright, please bear with me as the only topic that I have to blog about these days is teaching. I am literally eating, breathing, and sleeping my classroom. The night custodian and I are on very friendly terms and the other staff joke that I need a cot put in my room to sleep. It has become more than a second home. It is labor-intensive, time-consuming, and engaging all at once. I am loving what I'm doing and feel truly challenged for the first time in years. However, I can't recall ever having to give sooooo much of myself over to a job before. One great side effect to all this overtime has been the weight loss. I've lost almost 5 lbs in a week. It had been taking me a month on average to lose even 1 lb. If this continues, I will be at my goal weight in a couple of weeks. See? There is always a silver lining.

I realize that lots of people put in 12-13 hour days and work just as hard. I have personally had jobs that I worked my tail off for too. The biggest difference I think I'm feeling is that I never had to sacrifice quite so much of my personal life before...with the exception of a residential treatment facility that I worked at awhile back. That was way harder than teaching...physically and emotionally-speaking.

Teaching has been more or less a difficult juggling act. Teachers are expected to wear so many hats...Educator, entertainer, librarian, nurse, disciplinarian, counselor, social worker, and more or less a jack-of-all-trades with the subject matter. It is mentally-exhausting trying to keep all the balls in their air and balance everything else on your plate. I am simply struggling to find an organizational system that is effective, get a handle on how to implement the curriculum, plan activities and homework for 5-7 subjects daily, be "on" all the time for the kids, attend a meeting nearly everyday afterschool, contact parents, track grades and student progress accordingly, plan fundraising events for outdoor school, collaborate on a data team, and still make in home in time to have dinner with my family. I think you get the point.

Please don't get me wrong, I am very happy to be a teacher. I am just the kind of person who needs to vent for awhile about stuff that is stressful and overwhelming until I figure it out. Then all is dandy. For instance, I had one coworker come to me yesterday to talk about how things are going for me and he commented how much calmer I seemed. I said that yes I was more mellow because I was adjusting better and feeling more familiar with things. I also shared with him that I have a freak out factor at first when I feel lost and in new territory...then I'm fine. He got a kick out of that.

As for life outside the classroom...this is hard for me as I haven't seen my kids much the last two weeks...N is enjoying first grade so far. He likes his classmates and new teacher. He's not feeling very challenged though and we fear that he is getting bored. His class is recapping all of the basic alphabet as his class has a lot of struggling readers. N doesn't struggle though and is way past this learning stage. We worry that he will have other issues as a result. We are keeping a close eye on things. K longs to go to preschool. We plan to get her enrolled in the next few weeks if certain things pan out like we hope (see below). In the meantime, I read books almost every night with N and K. K reads by telling about what she sees in the picture, N and I take turns reading the actual story. This nightly ritual has been a great bonding experience too for all of us, especially on my late work nights. N even told me tonight as I tucked him in that he missed having me home. That was hard because I miss being with the kids more. I keep reminding myself that things will improve soon and I will be around more often.

On completely different note, hubby was laid off due to corporate downsizing. However all is not lost, he already has an interview next week and we have high hopes for that job. In other news, we got our land line back for the first time in 4 years! It feels so nice to hold a phone that is smaller than my hand. It's one of those luxuries that we took for granted, but no longer. Anyhow, I am starting to babble incessantlly so I'm gonna go get some sleep.

Keeping busy

Okay, I made it through the first week of teaching...barely. Today is my first day off in about three weeks. I have been winding up my time at my summer job as a Sunday School Teacher, so I have one day left of that. It just makes an already crazy week that much longer. However, I will miss that job as I really enjoyed the kids and the congregration. It's a great little church program. Yet I have inherited a class of 6th graders in return.

Needless to say, I was petrified the first day. The 6th graders walked into my class with curiosity. They seemed so huge to me compared to 1st graders I was accustomed to. It was all I could to keep my nerves under control. I had to really keep my straight face on as they attempted to find my buttons to push. When I survived their initial tests, they realized pretty quickly as the week wore on that I meant business and was in charge. I spent most of the time getting to know their personalities and quirks as a class in lieu of assessment. I figured that was an imperitive step for me in my classroom management. I think I made the right decision in that regard, because we have begun to build a good rapport. My kids respect my authority and already seem eager for my opinion on their work. Makes me feel like I can officially call myself a teacher.

The thing that I need to work on is my organization skills. I have so many things to do that I've had to stay late every night this past week. It's really unavoidable at this point because there are a variety of tasks that just take time to do. I have a system and that also takes time to build and set in motion. As I get more comfortable with the curriculum and efficient in my work, I have faith that the extra hours will dwindle to more regular hours. I would like to go from staying til 7 or 8 each night to getting out by 5pm. At least I've carved out the weekends for family and friends. I can't be a wife and mother if I spend ALL of my waking hours acting as a teacher. There has to be a balance if I am to survive this career transition. It's rewarding, challenging, labor-intensive, and time-consuming. I am enjoying it though. It just takes A LOT of prep and planning ahead.

Thank you to all of you have been supportive throughout this process. It has been arduous task and not always hunky-dory. My husband lost his job this past week, so we are back to square one so to speak. His company let go of four people that same day in the name of "corporate downsizing." We figure it's life's way of keeping us humble. At least we'll be fine. Maybe this will be his chance to find another way to shine.

D Day

Alright, it's not quite Doomsday, but that's how it feels at least. The first day of school is fast-approaching. I'm excited for my son as he enters first grade. He's been anticipating this day all summer and is chomping at the bit to get back to school. It's endearing to see that enthusiasm as I know the day will come when the dread sets in when he has to say goodbye to lazy summer days. Tuesday will be bittersweet for me however. It will be my first official day of teaching. I've been scrambling to get my classroom ready and start planning my lessons. It has been a very confusing process to try an make sense of all the curriculum materials and understand the standards. Somehow I naively thought that once I got a hold of the Teacher's Editions that it would all make sense. That's how it worked when I student taught in both the fifth grade and first grade classes. I didn't really struggle too much. For whatever reason, it's been tough for me this time around. I am thinking that it's partly due to my anxiety and the overwhelming amount of things that need to be done. Everyone says to act confident even when you don't feel that way. It's hard for me to be something I'm not. The confidence usually arrives once I know what I'm doing. I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve.

On the bright side, I've been cracking open the Teacher's Editions and it is slowly beginning to become a bit clearer to me. What has been plaguing me is how to find that balance of not thinking about what I still need to do every minute of the day when I am at home. My brain just can't let go. Thoughts of school keep invading my dreams even. I hope to get things organized at work to the point where I can enjoy my time away from the classroom. I've been told I will have a very lively group of students (a.k.a. the worst group in years), but I remain optimistic about things to come. I like to think that a fresh perspective might not be such a bad thing. I don't expect to walk on water this year, but I do hope to learn how to tread at the very least. Sometimes it feels like I'm in over my head, but I am keeping the faith that with time I WILL find my groove. Please keep your fingers crossed for me as I take these first baby steps with my first class. 6th grade here I come!