Connections

I am in awe over the horrible events that have transpired this week in Virginia. What happened to that campus is awful, but sadly not shocking anymore. It seems as though we hear about these kinds of things way too often nowadays. You begin to feel numb. Yet you still find ways of feeling connected to people you don't even know. Kind of like 9/11, I didn't know anyone personally involved, but I could grieve for them all the same. Speaking as someone who lived in the Eugene/Springfield area during the Thurston shootings by Kip Kinkel, I can truly emphathize with the Blacksburg community where Virginia Tech is located. I have a brother back east who once lived in the Centerville townhome area where the gunmen's parents call home. It was a different cul-de-sac, but they are all the same in design. This has been hard on everyone there, but I can only imagine the grief the Seung's family has endured this week. Not only have they lost their son, but they have to face the reality of what he did and the questions he left behind. Won't be an easy road. My husband told me that his boss knows someone who was one of the victims. Indirectly, we are all connected.

While this tragedy evokes images of Columbine and other terrible massacres, it does remind of someone specifically. When I was a freshman in college, there was a young Asian man who lived
two doors down from me. It was a coed dorm and we had a pretty good group of people on our floor. However, it was clear from the outset that this young man, whom I'll call "M", was very different. His hair was always unruly and shaggy, his clothes unkempt, and wore these coke-bottle glasses with a peeper keeper attached to them. He was in my writing class, so I got to know him a little. His comments were strange, but I was always a magnet for people who were a little different. I tried to look past his oddities and get to know him. He was heavily into Baywatch, that I remember. He asked me to knock on his door to wake him, as he had trouble making our 8am class. After a week of this, I told him to set his alarm. "M" would ask random questions of people that caught them off guard such as "were you breast-fed as a child?" It just turned people off from being friendly.

At one point, we had a writing assignment that required us to discuss a significant milestone in our lives. Most people chose stuff like graduation, marriage, births, deaths, or other such important events. "M" chose to write about a time he worked as a hotel maid. He said he walked in a couple who were having sex. As he was telling me one day about his story, I asked him how it was significant in his life, he replied..."I always remember to knock now before entering." I couldn't quite tell if he was serious or just trying to be funny. He was actually a good writer, but his subject matter was always a bit off. As time wore on, he began acting creepier. He stayed in the dorm as much as possible and began skipping classes. He withdrew and didn't appear to have any friends. His roommate said he "M" flipped out and put a white line down the middle of the room to divide it up. Eventually, his roommate requested room change. I changed dorms to be closer to my boyfriend at the time. As the school year progressed, I saw even less of "M." I later heard from my former RA that "M" had tried to hang himself in his dorm room and was later asked to leave the school to seek help. I never knew what became of him. He did have some serious social issues, but he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, if an oddball at times. You just never know about people.