Fancy Pants

Okay, there have been a slew of frivolous lawsuits filed over the years. There have even been some even more absurd judgements handed down in favor of some nutty plaintiffs such as the $3,000,000 that McDonald's was ordered to pay a customer for a cup of spilled hot coffee. Come on! That is just screwy! I get that hot coffee can scald a person enough to cause serious burns, but for $3 mil?! Consider they over 1 billion served on their sign, I'm sure they could afford the payout, but still...it just seems so out there to award that much. If nothing else, maybe their coffee is a little cooler these days.

Yet perhaps our court system has truly suffered in the name of justice with ongoing litigation for high-profile cases such as the legal tussles between Anna Nicole Smith and the estate of J. Howard Marshall. That case made it all the way to the Supreme Court for goodness sake and is still going. What is really ironic is that both of the primary litigants are now deceased (Pierce and Anna Nicole)...leaving their respective estate reps battle it out. It seems almost pointless to continue now, but the chances of settling are probably slim to none. I think the Howard K. Stern will continue to fight on Anna's behalf to see it all the way to the end...and for the benefit of Dannielynn. Once enemies, now Larry Birkhead and Stern are soon-to-be partners in this endeavor...money and litigation makes for strange bedfellows. And don't even get me started on Virgie Arthur, the grandmother and her battle for custody of Anna's body, then Daniel's body, and then for Dannielynn. The whole situation is just messed up.

However, there is one pending case that literally crosses the over the line into utter lunacy. A judge (yes, a judge!) took his pants to the dry cleaners and upon his return the owners couldn't find his pants for a number of days. Eventually, the pants turned up, but the judge refused to take them back. Instead of trying to resolve the situation amicably...the judge decided to sue the owners for fraudulent business practices and emotional distress. That isn't even the best part. The guy is suing the immigrant owners (who speak limited English) for $67,000,000 in damages. He arrived at that amount in what he justifies as a legitimate sum. For instance, the dry cleaners posted a sign that guaranteed customer satisfaction and same day service, neither of which he received...the sign hung for some 1200 days x $1500 fine per day= $1,800,000. He also added in the cost of a rental car he must use to drive farther away to another dry cleaners every weekend. Add in the cost of the pants times whatever and the cost of the inconvenience to himself and somehow he arrived at the magic number of 67 million dollars. What's really sad is that his pants were worth approximately $800 and he refused to accept a settlement amount of $3000, then $4600, and even $12,000 from the owners of the dry cleaners. We now just might have the definition of idiot.

How does a respected member of the legal profession, a judge no less, get away with such insanity and be allowed to clog up the an already stretched court system? It shows you just how sue-crazy this country has become. I had that awful experience of the bulldog ransacking my car and now have salsa stains and dog hair everywhere. The owner of the dog was a cop and rumored by neighbors to be difficult to deal with. We thought about asking him to pay for the detailing, but in the end felt that it wasn't worth the hassle or emotional investment. If he had refused, our insurance rep said we could take him to small claims court to settle the dispute. We again opted not to deal with the situation like that. I would've felt so stupid explaining all of this to a judge and my plate is full enough without adding any more pressures. I would've been justified to go to court, but then I would've been guilty of being one of those sue-happy citizens. It's just not worth it. It is indeed a crazy world we live in.