Happily ever after?

One of Princess Diana's parting gifts in this life was her eldest son, Prince William, or Wills as the British press has affectionately called him since birth. He has proven to be a responsible, hard-working young man with a lot of class. While his younger brother, Harry, has found himself in a few scrapes over the years, Wills has managed to keep his nose out of trouble. It may be due in large part to his relationship with his college sweetheart, Kate Middleton. While it is wonderful to be young and in love, he has wisely paced this romance just right. He has so much living yet to do and to marry now would set him on a course for of royal duty that could lead to challenges he may not be ready for. However, it would be amazing to see these two tie the knot sometime down the road. Hopefully, they will continue to grow even closer over time and not drift apart with time. They have the weight of the world on their shoulders as expectations heat up with every passing year.

When Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer wed in a ceremony broadcast around the world, it was quite the spectacle. Full of pomp and circumstance, it was every little girl's dream come true to watch this hopeful young woman marry the man of her dreams. Even though I was quite little, I remember it quite vividly. My very first paper dolls were actually a very elaborate set of the couple. It cost some $7 and I had to save several weeks worth of my allowance to buy it. That is a steep price by even today's standards. While I realize that the fairy tale had an unhappy ending for Charles and Diana, it doesn't have to be that way for Wills and Kate. I for one believe in the possibility of happily ever after. We shall see.

Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee!

Okay, I've just spent some ten hours typing up several pages of my work sample. To break up the monotony of the evening, I sprinkled in moments of watching the new reality show on NBC called Grease: You're the One that I Want. Yes, I realize that it is a complete ripoff of American Idol, but with a twist. However, it was actually a fun show to watch.

If you are even a little bit of a fan of the movie version, you will love this show. One of the judges actually wrote the original script and conceived the characters based on his personal experiences. So that gives the show an air of credibility right there. The female judge has Broadway choreography credentials, and I am not sure who the British Simon knockoff judge is, but you don't pay him too much mind. It's just kinda fun watching these Rydell High wannabes try to be Danny and Sandy.

I am not sure how it will all play out exactly, but I know they are picking several hopefuls to go to Grease Academy. Again, they reference the Idol-style Hollywood bootcamp where they whittle down the final contenders. Olivia Newton-John even chimed in with a few random comments throughout the show. Overall, I think it was good enough to make me want to tune in again next week to see who makes the cut. I am a huge fan of this musical, so I like the concept of helpin pick the cast of the show. Hey, the real Idol starts in just a couple of weeks anyway!

Dreams can come true...

Okay, I am sensing a strange pattern beginning to form. We all wish for our dreams to come true...but not the bad ones. Last night I had another worrisome dream. This time it was my son I couldn't find. We were with family and a bunch of other random people from my past (dreams always do that for some reason). We went swimming and so my son went with his grandpa to get ready. Well, when I come out of the locker room area, I notice Nicky isn't around. This whole thing is a bit hazy, so bear with me.

Then when my dad agrees to bring him to the door of the locker room, I tell them I'll meet them both there. Then when I get there, nobody is around. I go back out to the swimming area and my dad is happily swimming with the others in our group. I question him as to where my son is and he says he left him by the locker room door. I tell him that he wasn't there. So begins my frantic and frenzied search. All those memories of my son's first diappearance come bubbling to the surface. I am referencing the day when my son's bus driver dropped him off and his babysitter arrived too late to pick him up. So my son went wandering around until our neighbor realized he had no one to watch him and took him in for a couple of hours. Can we say scary day?

Anyway, I had become almost incosolable until my son turned up in another area of the pool. He had been happily occupied by playing with a cousin or someone. The dream was a bit disjointed, but I just remember that I had that awful feeling you get when you don't know where your child is. Two dreams in a row about a similar theme. No expert in the field of dream analysis is needed to tell me that it isn't just a coincidence. I just wish I knew what to make of them both. If nothing else, it makes me want to cherish my time with my kids more and be very mindful of where they are at all times. People thought I was overreacting in my dream, but I don't care...we're talking about my children's well-being here.

I put a lot of stock into dreams. I've had many premonitions over my lifetime that have come true in some form or another. I don't proclaim to be clairvoyant or anything, but some of my dreams have become a reality. Most of the time, whenever I have a dream of any significance...it usually involves myself or someone close to me going through something major. Then if it comes true, it an event that happens to someone else. So anyone I know that is reading this blog, keep your loved ones close and be aware of those in your life that have children. I don't want to be a drag to anyone, but I also don't want to ignore the message of these dreams.

Without a trace...

I'm a big fan of the show, Without a Trace. I really get immersed in the storylines and drama of a it all. However, last night I had a very real dream that resembled this show just a little too close for comfort. In this dream, I was shopping at a nearby Winco with my two children. Though parts of it are a little fuzzy to me now, I remember chasing down some woman who had almost hurt someone or us or whomever. I must've left my kids supposedly by my car with intructions to wait for me right there. That was my first mistake.

After catching up with the woman I'd been running after, she acted very contrite for whatever it was she had done. She kept talking to me as if to distract me. When I finally realized I had better get back to my kids, I only saw my son standing by the car. I asked him where his sister was and he said he didn't know. Together we began to search the entire area. The Winco turned into some quaint downtown district. My son and I kept going into shop after shop, asking people if they'd seen my daughter. The police were called and I gave them my daughter's most recent picture so that they could get the word out about her missing. They felt that someone had taken her. My son was in a daze.

The awful thing is that I woke up before I could find her. It was the most horrible feeling to know that my baby girl was missing and most likely kidnapped. And worse of all it was my own fault for not keeping a better eye on my kids. It makes me think back to those times when I truly turned my back for all of a second to do grab something off of a shelf or pay for something. It only takes a second for someone to come along and scoop up your child.

You just never know what can happen, so I am so grateful that I happened to have that recent picture of her (in the dream). I pretty much always have my wallet photo album of the kids with me. It's pretty small and doesn't take up much room. What a saving grace it could turn out to be if such a situation were to really happen. You can never be too careful. I don't wish to lead a life fearing what could happen, but I think it doesn't hurt to be aware and cautious. My kids mean everything to me and I don't know how I could handle it if such a thing ever became a reality. I pray that it never does.

Non-Prophet

Wow. I had every intention of getting on the computer tonight and either doing some homework or just playing around. Well, I got on the phone with my best friend and next thing I knew a couple of hours had passed. I guess that's what happens when you get lost in conversation, you become oblivious to just about everything else.

My son even curled up next to me and fell asleep with his head on my lap. I carried him to bed, and he's getting big enough that I won't be able do that much longer. My baby boy is not so much a baby anymore. Tonight we read a book together and it was so awesome to hear him actually pronounce several words all on his own, some of them were pretty big too. I was very impressed.

On another. completely opposite train of thought, I took a short break from this particular blog entry to watch some of the show Numbers. It was a very intense episode. We've all heard of cults with crazy prophets. Think Branch Davidian, Jonestown, Rajneesh, and Heaven's Gate. This cult was about a twisted, self-proclaimed prophet that was creating a strange family tree to cover up for some genetic inadequacy of his own. I didn't catch the whole episode, so I missed a vital piece of that puzzle.

However, this guy raped and impregnated several young girls over many years. Then as his offspring came of age, he did the same to them. He was violet with anyone who attempted to leave his cult. Those too fearful to leave were ultimately sacrificed. In a Waco-like standoff, the prophet killed his followers by causing his compound to explode, unbenknownst to them until it was too late. It was really disturbing.

I swear, I am always fascinated by the people that buy into these nutty cults and what makes them give themselves over so completely. Some choose to willingly sacrifice themselves for their faith, while others get in too deep and are unable to get out alive even when they want to. It is a dangerous ploy to fall for. I grew only about an hour away from the Rajneeshpuram site. I still remember the haunting images of all those people wearing orange, pink. amd red. They almost took over an entire town, but failed in the end. They sort of imploded from within once the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh went down. I guess I just have trouble wrapping my mind around the psychology of it all. Scary stuff.

I think this entry gives new meaning to the term...random thoughts.

Back to School

Well, I have almost survived the first week of my second stint of student teaching. I have been crazy busy for the last few days. Just burning the candle at both ends I guess. In my last placement I had the luxury of just mainly observing for the first week or two, even though it was a short-term placement. Well, my CT (Cooperating Teacher) has the notion of throwing me to the wolves, so to speak. He feels that I'll get bored just watching him, so he has already been putting me to work. Starting Monday, I take over teaching a couple of things. I am grateful for his confidence in me, but just feeling a little ill-prepared to teach stuff I have no experience with. Let's just say, I am learning to think on my feet. My CT reassures me that doing is the best of learning, so I am just praying each night that I can get through each day and do a good job. Time will tell.

In one of the nuttiest moves I've ever made, I will begin my teaching my second WS (Work Sample) the same week as my AR (Action Research) project. For those that don't know what those two things are, let me briefly explain so you can get the full scope of this. A WS is a unit consisting of at least 10 lessons. In addition, you must complile a complete analysis of the school, your students, your own evolution as a teacher, and a full assessment student achievement of the unit objective. My last one was 116 pages long!

An AR is very similar to a thesis. I ask a question and then conduct field research on it by collecting and triangulating data. Then I report on my findings. There is much more to both, but that is both in a nutshell. Due to time constraints and some other extenuating circumstances, it was unavoidable. It might be academic suicide on some level, but the only thing I can do is push through and cross my fingers that the stars align for me. I've been doing a little bit each night, but the pace finally caught up with me, so I had to take a brain break this evening.

In the short time I've known them, I must add that I am really enjoying these first graders. They are so adorable and willing to learn. Kids at this age are still very much like sponges. All students are unique and wonderful in their own ways, but this group of children are extra special in that they have seen and lived through some major challenges in their young lives. This school has the highest poverty rate in the county and has many kids that come from very troubled homes. I met many of my students previously at a local Boys & Girls club that I volunteered at for awhile. It is heart-breaking and uplifting all at once to work with these children. I adore their energy and personalities. They love to shine, so I hope that when all is said and done, I get to help them experience that. I know I'll take away some amazing memories from this school.

Ready or not, here we go!

Alright, I will finally adhere to common sense and turn in early. Believe it or not, 11:00pm is early for me. I have spent the past three weeks of my winter vacation staying up LATE. It started out as just til midnight so that I could catch Sex in the City. Then it got later and later and I got online or hooked on some show on E! (we don't get too many channels). I became a little addicted to Girls Next Door and Dr. 90210. One really crazy night I got into watching stuff on www.youtube.com and stayed up until almost 4am. Yes I know, I am sad. I swear, I would have the TV for company (everyone else was in dreamland) and I would be online. When you're online time flies faster than you can imagine. An hour feels like a just a few minutes.

However, I finally accomplished many goals over the last two days. I was able to get many long overdue tasks completed. I guess I procrastinated until the last minute of my vacation, but at least several items are now off my list of things to do. Had to make room for new things. Like tonight, I had a lot notebooks and school-related materials to organize and prepare for tomorrow. I start my second and final student teaching placement, so I wanted to feel ready and not rushed. I will be working with a first grade class and they will keep me on my toes for sure.

Amazingly enough, I even got lunches made for my son and I so that I don't have to deal with it in the morning. My workbag and my son's backpack is all set as well. I just hope that I can keep up on this preparedness for the next four months. I know me, there will be days when it just won't happen, but I can give it my all. My biggest fear is falling behind on my coursework. There is no room for error at this point, so I am definitely feeling the pressure. However, I am trying to go into this next experience with a positive outlook and remember to breathe. I tell myself that as long as I do my part, all the pieces will fall into place. Time to get to bed if I wanna avoid the dark circles under my eyes. Here's to a new year, a good attitude, and bright beginnings for us all!

Year in Review

Alrighty, it is officially the last day of 2006. Granted it is still the wee hours of the morning where I live, but it still counts. No big plans for New Year's Eve, just hanging out with good friends. Just for fun, I thought I'd salute the past year's events. It was definitely a year to remember, eh?

In the world of entertainment, we had quite baby boom. Following in Angelina Jolie's footsteps, Madonna adopted a baby boy from Malawi. With the royal arrivals of such little princesses as Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, Suri Cruise, and Violet Affleck, we are in serious need of some little princes in 2007 so they can hook up in 20 years. I guess I am leaving out little Jayden James Spears Federline, but considering his lineage he has a bit of an uphill battle in his future if he's to overcome his mommy and daddy's shadow. Maybe Julia Roberts will give birth to a set of twin boys.

There was also lots of matchmaking and breaking up as several couples played the love game. Tom and Katie tied the knot Scientology-style, Brad and Angelina globe-trotted, and many more. There seemed to lots of couples that headed for splitsville such as Whitney and Bobby (finally!), Britney and K-Fed, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson, and Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn (I had hoped that one would last). There are too many to list here, but you get the idea.

There were so many fascinating things that transpired, from Anna Nicole Smith's soap opera life to the ongoing sagas of club-hopping, quickly vanishing divas (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and so on). Taylor Hicks won American Idol, while a former Idol was nominated from a Golden Globe (Jennifer Hudson)! Mel and Kramer became revealed their inner bigot. The View played musical chairs as Meredith stepped in for Katie Couric, and Star was out and Rosie was in. A former child star from Kids Incorporated! hit it big in the form of "Fergalicious." Justin Timberlake brought "Sexy Back."

Food Network star, Rachel Ray, got her due in the form of her own mainstream daytime show, with a little help from Oprah. Dr. Phil continued to tell people like it is, especially when the issues are as devastating as not being able to trust your husband because he shoved a piece of wedding cake into your face 26 years ago (Puleeeeaaase people! Get over it already.). Hef turned 80 years old with a little help from his Girls Next Door. Of course I am leaving out so many delicious stories, but all's you have to do is tune into E!

As for the rest of the world, it was an extraordinary year. The US continued its tour of duty in a country that is still in shambles and ended the year with the execution of Saddam. Bush continued his evasive maneuvers when asked for a timetable or about our purpose abroad. I have to hand it to the guy, he sure sticks to his maverick ways and does not waiver. That could become his legacy or his downfall, only time will tell. kMaybe next year he'll have some new strategies to save the Iraqi people from further bloodshed and our troops can begin their journey home. One very noteworthy governmental change was when Rumsfeld stepped down after a controversial run as Director of Homeland Security.

Among many other national stories, school shootings returned to the headlines with a number of horrific killings. Perhaps the most disturbing of them was the massacre at a a schoolhouse in the heart of Amish country, Lancaster County. Like so many other terrible crimes, this one made no sense at all and thrust the quiet culture of the Amish into the national media spotlight. Needless to say, this will haunt many people for years to come, but in the Amish tradition...they have already forgiven the gunman and asked for mercy on his soul. Now that is a culture of people that truly adheres to the teachings of the Lord.

There are so many things about 2006 that will stick with us long after the ball drops tonight Times Square. One of the most telling signs that the "times they are a changin'" is the passing of the torch from Dick Clark to Ryan Seacrest. It will be interesting to see what 2007 has in store for us. To all, I wish you the happiest of new years and may you sing "Auld Lang Syne" with all of your might. Cheers!

Doin' the Raindance

Warning! Potty talk ahead...:)

Okay, I've had it. I am officially the worse potty training parent ever. EVER. Believe you me, there is very little that I haven't tried with my daughter. If I am the worst trainer, than she is definitely on the list for one of the worst potty trainees ever. She is so stubborn and wierd about it. Case in point, I spent the entire morning putting her on the toilet at regular intervals. Though she never actually went the bathroom, she at least sat on the her special toilet seat so she won't fall in. She got a little resistant once or twice, but overall she was a good girl about staying put. She ate both breakfast and lunch with no results. I even gave soup and turned on the water faucet (for the trickling sound effect) to help facilitate the peeing process. Nodda. Zip. Zilch.


At one point, she declared that she had gone potty in toilet. When I inspected the water, I couldn't see any noticeable color change. However, she seemed so certain she had gone that I cheered her for it anyway and told her how proud I was of her. She smiled from ear to ear. When naptime came, I changed her back into out of her undies and back into her pullup. About a half hour later I could hear her kicking the walls of her bedroom. I opened her door to find her happily playing on her bed. She not only had lugged half her toybox into her bed, but she also had a full diaper. Hello? All day on and off the toilet and she waits until she's in her bed to go. It's like she has an aversion to going potty in the toilet. I know she knows what she should do. Maybe I should just put a potty chair on her bed.


Another mom that I know suggest that I take her into the bathroom with me everytime I need to go and to try having her dolly pretend to go as well. I began doing that last night. I am mentally willing this child to learn. I am almost out of time. I go back to student teaching in just over three days. I will be working full time, five days a week and won't be as available to her like I have been this past month. I will be reliant on my babysitters for their help and am not sure how jazzed they are about having to help potty train.

Someone told me that Dr. Phil believes you can potty train any child in just one day if you do it right. I believe that it depends on the child. With my son, I tried everything under the sun. It wasn't until it just finally clicked with him. I had read books, researched the internet, consulted with my doctor and other moms for ideas. Once the lightbulb went on and he decided for himself that he wanted to be a big boy, he finally was figured it out. I used a potty chart to reward him for everyday he went without an accident to help with that aspect. I am putting together one for her now. That's the key with Kirsten I think. Until she decides she's ready, it doesn't matter what we do. I plan to keep at it, but I hoping for a miracle. If someone knows a variation of the raindance that will bring on the potty, let me know.

SpongeBob SquarePants

What is up with Legos? Yesterday, my son begged me all day to help him build his SpongeBob SquarePants Lego set. Finally, I caved in after dinner. He wanted to put together his house that's in the shape of a pineapple. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong. We spent at least an hour just trying to build the bottom half of it. If I did it all myself it might've moved along faster, but that wasn't the point of it. We wanted to do it together and so it occasionally took us both some time to figure out where the tiny pieces went. Well, after sitting hunched over for an hour, my shoulders were killing me so we had to stop. We will pick up tonight where we left off last night.

I'm not sure what my son's sudden fascination with SpongeBob is, but it's funny. We don't get Cartoon Network at our house, so he only sees it when he's at Grandma's house. I do know that he gets to play some SpongeBob XBox game at our babysitter's house. In his note to Santa, he asked ol' St. Nick to bring him a SpongeBob DVD. Now, if I had would've mentioned this to me at some point prior to Christmas Eve, I could've taken care of this wish. Unfortunately, he save his secret wish for Santa himself.

Well, on Christmas morning he was a little disappointed that he never got his DVD. I gently reminded him that sometimes Santa doesn't bring us exactly what we wish for, but he gives us plenty of other things he knows we'll love. From various family members, he did get a mini SpongeBob pinball machine, two sets of SpongeBob legos, and from "Santa" he got a SpongeBob playdough set. He seemed to understand and didn't say anything else about it. I told him that maybe Santa will whisper his wish into the Easter Bunny's ear. Nicky is not hurting for SpongeBob anything.

I know some people don't think young kids should watch SpongeBob, but I don't really see why. From the cartoons I have seen, it's no worse than anything with Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, Tom and Jerry, or any other classic. I am very mindful of what my kids watch, so if SpongeBob is the worse thing they are exposed to, then I think they're doing just fine.

Rock the boat baby!

Just a quick story...Nicky and Kirsten were eating breakfast at the table this morning when one of their favorite commercials comes on. It's the one where M&M guys were rowers on a slave ship and have to sing "Row, row, row your boat..." Then everyone switches to singing "Rock the boat!" Anyhow, Nicky and Kirsten break out into song and sing "Rock the boat baby!" It was so cute. Guess you had to be there...:) If you want, you can view the commercial for yourself by clicking on this link (it'll take you to M&M's website)...
http://us.mms.com/us/fungames/tv/

Sweatin' the small stuff

Okay, I can officially say I've been productive. While I may not be marking everything off my "To Do" list, at least some strides have been made. For instance, I've gotten going on some of my homework and feel good about that so far. There is a lot of it to organize and process, so progress is slow in that department. I just wanted to toot my own horn for spending several hours last night on it and I actually turned the tv off to do it. By the end of the night (or shall I say wee hours of the morning?), my brain was on the fritz so I had to stop. Still too wired to sleep, I started watching a movie that I recently bought and have been dying to see since I finished the book, Plain Truth. Didn't finish it because I was too tired. Will try to today though.

Then today, I managed to tackle a long overdue project: my son's room. It hasn't been very messy per se, but just a lot of little things in random places. I get so tired of all the tiny toys and miscellaneous pieces that don't seem to go with anything because they broke off, got mixed up, or whatever. So I sorted the bulk of his stuff into various piles to better organize his toys.
He has Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, Magnetix, Thomas Trains/Railroads, a Jay Jay plane collection/airport, racetracks and Hot Wheels, Dinosaurs, Safari animals, and a bunch of other random stuff.

I think that it's time to let some of the random stuff go. We just don't have the space or the bins to contain it all. He's outgrown some toys, so I will just put them into box to give to a friend, family member, or just give it to the Goodwill. Part of me wants to keep a few things in case I ever teach Kindergarten and need toys to put in my classroom. Storage space and lack of containers for it is the biggest issue. Well, with the kids' help we were able to make his room a little bit better and less cluttered. Kirsten's room is pretty much the same story, but not something I'm ready to deal with today.

Miracle on 133rd Place

Well, I would've posted a more over the last few days, however our internet access has been acting up. So much has happened over the holidays that I will most likely catch up on stuff over the course of the week. Over the course of 24 hours, we had an amazing Christmas with our families.

After spending last weekend in Bend with my family, we were grateful to be able to stay sort of close to home for the yuletide. We drove about an hour away to Salem to see the other side of my family. We had such a blast there. Everyone was so jovial and spirited that it made for such a great time. Though I didn't get to grow up knowing this side of my family, I have fortunately been able to really get to know everyone in the last several years. They are a creative and talkative bunch, very much like me. They can also be LOUD.

For instance, we always snack on food, open presents, and end the night with a rautious game of Balderdash. Well, my cousin Cory managed to convince us to try Taboo for a change. This is a game where you have to try to get your team to guess the word by describing what it is. The catch is...you can't say the use hand gestures or the five most common words associated with it and these five are listed on the card. It really makes you have to stop and think. Well, we have some very headstrong people in my family. Needless to say, it was frustrating for some as everyone tried to understand the rules and just play the game. Overall, it was fun, but way too crazy for some to wrap their minds around.

So we moved onto Balderdash. In a nutshell, this game is simply about making up definitions for obscure words...then you try to guess the correct one that is mixed in with all of the made-up ones. My husband had a migraine and wanted to leave badly (the noise level can be deafening). However, he kindly stayed and let me finish playing the game with my family. This game went smoothely and everyone got into it. What made it great was that a few people that usually opt out of the game decided to play. So it was such a wonderful time. Also, my cousin Derek and his wife, Kazue (pronounced Kah-zu-weh), came down for the first time in years and so I loved getting to spend time with them. English is Kazue's second language and though she had a slow start, she ended up coming up with some of the best definitions.

We spent Christmas morning with just the four of us. We let the kids open their gifts and Kevin made us a great breakfast (cinnamon rolls, eggs, sausage, and hash browns). It was a special day and so I threw my diet out the door for the day. Then we went over to my mother-in-law's house for Christmas dinner. Kevin's sister and her husband were there as well. Then the most amazing thing happened.

For those who know the backstory, this will be an eye-opener. The short of it is, my sister-in-law has been a bit icy in recent years towards us. Among some other issues, she disapproved of us having our firstborn out-of-wedlock and has pretty much distanced herself from us. It has caused a lot of friction for my mother-in-law to say the least. Past gatherings have been fraught with tension and so I can honestly say I was dreading this day.

Well, the miraculous thing that happened was everyone got along. Kevin's sister and her husband are expecting their first child this spring. I don't know if that has anything to do with her change of heart, but I don't want to analyze it. While we aren't what you would call buddy-buddy, at least we had a conversation for the first time in years. My brother-in-law was his usual self, easygoing and funny. What really touched us was how Kevin's sister chatted with our kids and actually gave our son a hug when it was time to say goodbye. I think what made all the difference is that all of us put aside our "stuff" and just enjoyed the time together.

Again, you'd have to know the situation to realize what a wonderful thing this was for us. It was so nice to relax a little bit. I really enjoyed the afternoon too. I am genuinely excited for them as they embark on the adventure of parenthood and hope that our future family gatherings only get better with time. Needless to say, my mother-in-law got the best present of all...peace among her children and a joyful holiday.

What is ironic about all this is that my birth father was just talking to me on Christmas Eve about miracles. I believe that miracles come in all shapes and sizes. They don't have to be as dramatic as saving a life and such, they can be simple ones too. I think about what my best friend is going through with the recent loss of her a loved one and how positive she has stayed during this difficult time. It reminds me that so many of us just to need to shelve our baggage and get on with living life for all it's worth. To me, this breakthrough was as close to a Christmas miracle for all of us as I could expect. It gives me hope and what more can you ask for?

Christmas Karma

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there's a feeling of Christmas
Children laughing, people passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on ev'ry street corner you'll hear...

The opening verse to my favorite Christmas song, Silver Bells, seemed fitting for today. The last major shopping day before Christmas Eve is always crazy, but there are many brave souls who throw caution to the wind. It becomes a battle of wills in a way. Some shoppers can get a bit...how can I put this delicately...testy. Who can keep their holiday spirit as they navigate the crowded store aisles ? I cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Karma is definitely one of those things you don't want to mess with. It is something that is constantly testing us to see if we can handle the pressures bestowed upon us. It wants to see what path we will choose. Will it be the selfless or selfish one? Knowing the right thing

to do isn't always clear at first. Case in point today.

Kirsten and I went out for some of this last-minute shopping today and experienced some interesting things. While out running some errands, we were also on the hunt for one of the 12 Dancing Princess Barbies from The Nutrcacker. She loves to dance around like a ballerina, so it seems to be the must-have gift of the season for her. I didn't mind having her with me or worry over her seeing something she'd be getting for Christmas. The moment I put it out of her sight she tends to get distracted by something else.

When we got to Target, it was a madhouse. It appeared we weren't the only ones with last-minute things to buy. Well, I was technically done shopping for the kids so it wasn't a absolutely necessary that Kirsten get this toy. However, I know that oftentimes if you don't snap up certain things when they come out the first time, sometimes you are outta luck later on when you finally make up your mind to get it. The alternative is a jacked-up bidding war on Ebay. (see PS3).

So anyhow, I scoured the shelves and realized they were literally cleaned out of the doll I was looking for. Well lo and behold, I found a wedding version of Princess Genevieve. It was actually a beautiful Barbie doll and so I put it in the cart since it was the last one. About the same time another woman came along. She was clearly in search of the same doll and seemed frustrated by the bare shelves. I mentioned to her that she might try another Target that was nearby. I felt kinda bad as I had the last doll stashed in my cart out of sight. It felt very covert.

Feeling dejected, this woman and her husband went on their way. I felt good about finding a doll that was at least close to what I wanted for Kirsten, but then something happened. I had a karma attack. I felt bad for the couple that had clearly wanted this doll and I was starting to wonder just how badly Kirsten really needed it. Not very. So I began to roam the toy aisles until I spotted the couple. I handed them the doll and said I happened to find one and thought they might like to have it. They seemed surprised and grateful.

Needless to say, it was the right thing to do and I am glad we gave up the doll. Instead, Kirsten and I found an even better gift that she and Nicky could share. They both love Rudolph and Christmas music. So when we found cute little "press me" Christmas decoration of Rudolph, Yukon Cornelius, and the blonde elf (forget his name) sitting in a sleigh from the cartoon classic, we were both delighted. As long as the mechanisms inside hold up, the kids can enjoy it for many holidays to come.

Well, the interesting twist to this little tale is that when Kirsten and I stopped at Fred Meyer for some dinner rolls and a veggie tray (for a family gathering), we made a short stopover in the toy aisle just for fun. Well, it felt a lot like that old adage of whatever you put out into the universe comes back to you, good and bad. Today it was positive. We happened to find the exact Nutcracker Princess Barbie doll we had been looking for and at half price! I snagged it. Nicky always wants to make Kirsten happy, so it will be from him. Kirsten picked out a stuffed Scottie dog for Nicky. I know they have more than enough this year, but I am glad they will be learning about the joy of giving and not just receiving. Next year I want to teach the kids about sponsoring another family for the holidays so that they can see the wonderful things that can come from that. Slowly getting the hang of this karma thing.

The Nutcracker

Okay, as a child growing up I was never into ballet. Something about watching people prance around on their toes was to me much like someone scraping their nails along a chalkboard. It just gave me the heebie jeebies to see something so excruciating. I guess I was always more of a gymnastics and figure skating afficionado.

I remember back in high school when I was in drama, I had a brief stint as a ballerina in a musical. I forget if it was in The Music Man or Oklahoma!, but it was one of them. I learned asome basic moves. I wasn't the most graceful ballerina, but I had fun trying to be. I think I fancied myself more like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. Then my teacher asked some of us to help out a local ballet company during their annual performance of this famous ballet. My responsibilities included applying makeup to several little girls and managing some props. It was my first experience with the actual ballet. I still wasn't an avid fan or anything, but I began to tolerate it a bit more.

Then a few years back, my husband took me to see a live performance of The Nutcracker for my birthday. It was an amazing experience that I have never forgotten. While I had always loved Tchaikovsky's music, seeing the score set to dancing really brought it to life in a way I had never imagined. For the first time, I could truly appreciate ballet for what it was, a beautiful form of artistic expression that takes real dedication and hard work on the part of the dancers.

Though I still can't fathom how they manage to dance on their toes like that. It just looks so painful. I know that ballet shoes have some sort of padding, but I believe it takes years to build up the strength to be able to perform the really challenging moves. Now that my own daughter is showing signs of a budding ballerina, I am thinking we may put her into a ballet class at some point and see what happens. She loves to twirl and prance about.

As I sit here and type this, I am listening to and half-watching The Nutcracker on PBS. It brings me back to the live performance I enjoyed so much. I can now say I am a true fan of the ballet and aim to see many more shows in the future. I don't know how many different ones there are, but I would at the very least love to see Swan Lake. Kevin and I can't wait to take our kids to see The Nutcracker for the first time.

To see the lights

Alrighty, you can tell I am on vacation by the sheer volume of blogging I've been doing lately. In the near future, I fear my spare time will be swallowed whole by a little thing called school. With my second student teaching stint on the horizon, I am milking this time off for all I can. I set out this week to complete lots of my homework, only to find myself running around trying to get other things done. I also set out to spend some real quality time with my kids, but also found myself preoccupied with holiday stuff.

In all of my rushing around, I had forgotten to just soak it all in. Last night I tucked my son in and with his big blue eyes beckoning, he asked me if I could stay and talk with him awhile. My first instinct was to say no and get right to wrapping presents. Then my heart kicked in and told my racing mind to back off. So I laid down next to him and we chatted about Santa Claus and many other things. It felt good to stop and spend some time with Nicky.

Today was another tiring day and I realize that this pattern getting tough for me to break. I just don't know how to stop. Well, I do and I don't. When I do slow down, I crave alone time and seek it out a lot. This is the reason why I think I stay up so late at night. It is the only time of day when nobody needs me to do something for them. I realize I am sacrificing my sleep for this down time, but it's my wierd of way putting off tomorrow.

All of this self-analysis sort of put me in my place. So I fell back on the same personal ritual I have every year around the holidays. When the house is all quiet and still, I turn off all of the lights, exept for the ones on the Christmas tree. I just sit and look at it. The pretty colors and silver tinsel really make the tree sparkle in the darkness of the living room. As I admire the tree, I just simply count all of my blessings and contemplate life in general. It may sound silly, but it's kind of my way of meditating and finding some peace. Slowing down like this reminds me to keep my focus on my family and friends, and not solely on external things outside the home. Time to get myself to bed, gotta bake those cookies with my kids tomorrow (well, I guess it's already tomorrow...it's after 1am).

Cookies

What a whirlwind week thus far! I have been playing catch-up with all of the Christmas shopping and holiday preparations. I feel like I haven't had a chance to stop and breathe. Due to how our paydays and bills lined up, had to wait until this week to get it all done. I think I am finally done with the shopping part of it at least. I stayed up til about 1:30am last night to wrap gifts. Even though it's a lot of work, I love this part.

Next I have to tackle my next big project, baking cookies for family. I wish I could pretend to be doing this from scratch, but Betty Crocker I am not (at least not yet). Nope, I am taking the easy way out by using Nestle Tollhouse chocolate cookie dough cookie dough. Next year I hope to do better by making some actual holiday cookie recipes.

This is a big step for me this year in my pursuit to become a domestic goddess, even if it is simply scooping the dough onto the cookie sheet and turning on the oven. I am a long way from my goal, but I working it a little bit more each year. I'm not a stay-at-home mom, so time is definitely a factor. One recipe at a time.

The Pursuit of Happyness

I had to write an additional blog about the most excellent movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. I LOVED LOVED LOVED this film. I won't spill any beans here by listing major plot points...no spoilers here. Just the basic synopsis and a shameless plug. Will Smith stars as a down-on-his-luck single dad who decides to pursue the impossible, an internship with Dean Witter. The movie follows his struggles to accomplish his dream and be a good parent at the same time. What makes this movie extra sweet is that Will's own son, Jaden Christopher Syre Smith, stars as his kid. He does a really good job too.

At the risk of sounding like a film critic, Will Smith turns in an Oscar-worthy performance. I don't get the chance to see too many movies do to the expensive ticket prices and a lack of childcare. So when the opportunity presented itself this past weekend to go see this movie, I was jumped at the chance. There are a lot of good ones out right now, but this one is a cut above the rest. and in case you are wondering about the spelling of Happyness, you'll have to go see it to understand it.

We are family

Well, one Christmas celebration down and two more to go. We spent four days in Bend with my family to have an early holiday with them. We got up early and drove down on Thursday (also my b-day). My folks watched the kids that night so that Kevin could take me out. We went to Outback Steakhouse and enjoyed some quality "us" time. We later went over to Fred Meyer to get a little Christmas shopping done and to walk off some dinner. While were were there, Kevin got me a set of headphones as an extra birthday gift.

Kevin spent most of Friday trying to fix my parents' computer, so I went out the kids and my nephew Tyler. We got some good gifts and took the kids to see Santa outside of Macy's. They seemed a little uncertain of ol' St. Nick, but Nicky did manage to share his wish list. Kirsten just kind of looked on. They got a little restless and hungry at that point, so I treated them all to Taco Bell for lunch. We took it home to eat, so Kirsten could take her nap. Tyler and I went back out to Fred Meyer to finish up some Christmas shopping. We had such a great time and ended up in toy department having way too much fun. I had my digital camera, so we took advantage and snapped lotsa funny pics. My nephew looks adorable in his feather boa and princess crown. I saw the this frog and had to kiss it to see if it would turn into a prince. No such luck.

Later that night, my brother Steve wanted to take me out for a belated birthday dinner. We went to a mexican place called El Rodeo and ate the spiciest salsa ever. We indulged a bit and each had a blackberry margarita, which was also good for tempering the hot salsa. I was feeling adventurous, so I also had a Corona with a twist of lime. Most of all I just enjoyed hanging out my big brother and catching up with him. Later that night, Kevin and my other nephew Garrett asked me to go cosmic bowling with them. I was just too tired from being out and about so much already though, so I sat this one out.

On Saturday, we had a great time in the snow. Kirsten was battling a cold, so she stayed inside. My dad and I dragged Nicky around on a sled all over the backyard, which looks a lot like a woodland. He had such a blast. My mom and I had a bit of a tiff (that's another story), but we were able to get past it. Later on we had our family Christmas party. It was great to see everyone, nibble on goodies, and open presents. That evening, Kevin, Garrett, my niece Marley, and I went to go see a movie, The Pursuit of Happyness. Definitely two thumbs up!

Then today (Sunday), we decided to call it good and come home. We wanted to beat any bad weather that might be on its way. We got home safely. Needless to say, it was a very busy weekend with my family. I spent a lot of time catching up with everyone and it was nice. It was especially nice when my cousin, Val, dropped a bombshell. She and her hubby are expecting their first baby and we are all so excited for them. We have our troubled waters, but as a family can usually bridge the gaps. For better or worse, we are family and that's a great thing.

Siblings

I was sitting here surfing the net and noticed that my kids were sitting at the kitchen table coloring together. While they may have their days where they bicker, overall they get along exceptionally well. They are very thoughtful of each other (most of the time) and play well together. For instance, last night my 3 year old daughter was sad about something. She loves to twirl and do her ballerina moves. She says, "I have no prince to dance with." So my 6 year old son steps in and they proceed to waltz around the room. It was one of those sweet moments that does a parent's heart good. It's the sort of relationship I have prayed for them to have.

I grew up with a lot of brothers and overall have great relationships with all of them. Though we aren't especially close in recent years due to the miles between us, we come together during the holidays and pick up where we left off. However, the brother that was closest to me in age was a real challenge to grow up with . He had some major issues and always made it tough to get along with him. Though we had our moments of getting along well, it wasn't until we adults that our relationship truly became a good one.

He passed away back in 1993, so our newfound friendship was short-lived. I hope that my two kids continue to find the good in each other and not focus on the differences too much. If I teach them anything, it is to treat each other with love and respect. They can be each other's strongest ally in the years to come, so it's important to treasure the gift of being blessed with a sibling. So far so good.

Sink-or-Swim Time

Okay, school is going to be the death of me. As if I wasn't stressed enough about my solo teaching, work sample and action research project, now my Cooperating Teacher (CT) has added a whole new dimension to it. From the talks we've had so far, I can tell he is going to be a wonderful mentor. However, he is going to whip me into teacher-shape with the sink-or-swim mentality. In other words, check my nerves at the door.

I was advised by my cohort leader to do each element by itself if possible due to the enormity of each task. My CT has other plans for me. According to him, I will most likely be having a lot of overlap of each one. He informed me today that I should be prepared to teach my work sample while simultaneously doing my solo teaching. When I asked about my action research, he said probably when my work sample was done (but still during the solo teaching). The work sample is very involved and to take on all of my CT's responsibilities is overwhelming.

It's nearly impossible to get all three done at the exact same time. There just aren't enough hours in the day and brain cells in my head to handle them all at once. I am trying to keep an open mind and be as prepared as I can over the winter break. I just won't plan on seeing much of my family in the coming months. If I start to drown, someone throw me a lifeline!

March of the Penguins

I have to admit that I thought that the documentary, March of the Penguins, was truly amazing. I say that because I came into it about halfway in on the Hallmark Channel and was gonna change the station, but something about Morgan Freeman's narration drew me in. His rich, deep voice was warm and comforting, like a nice quilt to wrap up in while you watch this film about a family of penguins in the coldest place on earth. I find it ironic that we make the North Pole sound so cozy and quaint due to Santa Claus, but we think of the South Pole as this barren, icy continent. Both are just plain freezing...but I digress.

Besides having a college roommate that collected them, I never paid penguins much mind before. However, with the double whammy of this film and the animated hit, Happy Feet, I am a lot more interested in them these days. The documentary follows the Emperor Penguins' journey as they brave the bitter cold, protect their young, and make numerous treks to and from the sea. We are mesmerized by the heartache and delight the penguins feel when they must separate from their young and then reunited once more. It is such a sweet film. Now I want to go and rent it so I can see the whole thing. I can finally see what all the fuss was about.

Emmanuel

Tonight I took Nicky to a Christmas concert at our childcare provider's church. It was a huge event and very packed. It was opening night and they have 9 more shows to go. We knew some of the members of the choir, so it made it extra special. Kevin had a bad migraine, so he stayed home with our daughter to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns on TV. Definitely a yuletide theme permeated the evening.

It was a wonderful way to spend some quality time with Nicky. He really seemed to enjoy himself, though he began to get tired towards the last couple of songs. I thought he was a trooper for making it through the night as well as he did. He loves music, especially Christmas songs, so it was a lot of fun for us both. We especially enjoyed the children's choir and hand bells. Two of our childcare provider's daughters were on the hand bells and three were in the choir. Also, a couple of kids from his childcare were also in the children's choir.

During one portion of the concert, they played a brief video of a woman's difficult journey in finding God. She had been through hell and back. She battled drug addiction, abusive relationships, lost and regained custody of her kids, and grieved over the murder of her son by her boyfriend. It was through finding her faith that she found a way to heal and hope.

On the heels of this emotional story, the choir sang a beautiful rendition Emmanuel, a song I have always loved. It truly moved me to the point of tears. I think I had what you might call a spiritual moment of my own. Now I am not a very religious person, but I could really feel God's presence in the room and coming through to my heart. Music is truly a powerful thing.

We got home just in time to catch the tail end of Frosty Returns, so we watched that. After tucking the kids into bed, I took a swig of egg nog and called it a night. Well sort of, I decided to blog about our night. I definetly agree with the Andy William's holiday classic...it's the most wonderful time of the year!

Writer's Block

I find it a bit ironic that I have struggled to start writing a novel for years, but I can find time to blog so frequently lately. To put a positive spin on things it is one way to get some self-discipline going. I used to blog only about once a week or every couple of weeks, but recently I've been thinking of things to babble about.

My action research project asks the question, "Can crafting literature inspire primary students to think like writers?" Needless to say, after spending countless hours buried in writing research, I have fleshed out what this all means. I've always innately understood what it meant to see the world as a writer and have lived the concept. Writing in and of itself is not the challenge. For me, the struggle comes when I feel the pressure to write something very organized and long.

Think about all those long reports from your school days. If it was at least in a topic of interest, it made the process more bearable. I think I see drafting a novel in much the same way a rockclimber sees Mt. Everest for the first time. It will be a daunting task for sure and you know it will be a major uphill battle to get to the top of the mountain.

What I lack is the organizational skills to focus my writing and arrange into a cohesive whole. Maybe I should just come up with a general subject or idea and write little blurps about it. Blogging comes pretty easily to me as I am just rambling about my random opinions and experiences. Creating a fictional masterpiece takes a bit work.

Good Deeds

I passed by a Boy Scout Christmas tree lot on my way home. Then I received a flyer on my front door detailing a "Coats for Kids" clothing drive run by some local Eagle Scouts. Now the boys scouts are notorious for their good deeds and it got me thinking. The biggest lesson most of us learn around this time of year is to do more for others.

In addition to decorating our tree with my kids, I spent the rest of the evening getting some good deeds in. My mother-in-law needed some help updating her resume, so I spent a couple of hours this evening working on that for her. Next I need to tackle an editing task for a classmate's action research paper. I am contemplating giving some of the kids' old coats to that Eagle Scout coat drive. I was gonna consign them, but now I'm feeling like that could be bad karma.

Starting tomorrow I have to get busy on some personal responsibilities so that I can catch up. Subbing and school work has been swamping my time, so many domestic issues have been neglected, including my sleep. Well, I am all tapped out on things to say, so that's all for now. Time to do my body a favor and let it rest.

On the go

Where do I begin? Today was a very productive day for a change. It's not that I've been a complete lump on a log (well some days I was), but I haven't done as much as I could've. Anyhow, today I tried to get some things crossed off my to-do list. I started the day by taking Nicky to school and volunteering for almost 2 hours. Then I ran home for a bit and ended up chatting with a neighbor that was moving. I was sorry to her and her family go. They are one of the few original town home owners that were left in the area.

Over lunch, I got some errands done and turned in some important work at my GFU. Then I raced over to the school that I'll be placed at from January through April to meet with my Cooperating Teacher (CT) and meet his first grade class. On top of that, we had a meeting with my supervisor to go over all of the the things that I'll be doing and need to do. Let's just say that my hope for a peaceful winter break is shot. I have so much to do it's a bit overwhelming.

I didn't get home until almost 5pm. When we got home, I started dinner. We all ate dinner and decided to rearrange the living room to make room for the Christmas tree. We got it set up, but opted not to decorate it tonight. We were pretty bushed and thought we could tackle that task tomorrow. We let the kids stay up an extra hour to watch Santa Claus is Coming to Town on TV. It was good quality family time. It felt good to just relax after being on the go all day. Tomorrow it starts all over again.

O' Christmas Tree

Well, Kevin is down for the count again. He hurt his back a bit while helping some friends move yesterday and has been suffering from a bad migraine all day today. He was in no shape to go get a Christmas tree and suggested we wait til next week. I was afraid it would be raining and wanted to take advantage of the nice weather. So I said I would take our son and go get a tree.

Kevin had very little faith that I could do this and didn't want us to go. I reminded him that if his 60+ year old mother could cut down her own tree, I could handle it. When I was kid used to go out and chop wood with my family every winter. So I prepared the back of our car with an old army blanket, laid the backseat down, and grabbed the necessary supplies. Nicky came along to keep me company.

It wasn't an easy task, but we managed to find a great tree. It's one of those things where you just know it when you see it. I was mindful of picking one that wasn't too far of a walk back to the car. Luckily, we found just the perfect one. What I didn't anticipate was how sore and tired my arms would get while I was sawing the tree trunk. It cute how Nicky circled the trees and chattered away about how tired he was while I was hacking away at the bottom of the tree.

Not to toot my own horn, but I was proud of myself for doing this. I know it's just chopping down a Christmas tree, but both Kevin and his mom had their doubts as to whether I could handle it. I'll admit I wasn't sure how it would go, but it went off without a hitch. Next I need to tackle tire chains. Gotta get better at putting them on before we drive over the snowy pass in a couple weeks. I am woman, hear me roar!

Anyhow, I am very happy that we have our tree now. We need to rearrange the furniture a bit and then we can set it up. I love to decorate the tree, especially with the kids. They love to help with hanging the ornaments on the tree. Kevin isn't big on this part, but does try to help with the lights. Once we get this all done, it will really feel like the Christmas season is underway. Tis the season!

Crowning the canines

Okay, I know that I am officially growing as a person. Lately, I love watching shows on the non-mainstream stuff these days. We don't get too many channels since we only have the most basic cable. Besides the major networks, some shopping channels, C-Span type stuff, and a couple international stations, the most exotic channels we get are Discovery and E!...:) Don't get me wrong, I still get a kick out of the intellectually-stimulating shows like Girls Next Door and the suspenseful crime dramas like CSI. It's just that now I'm getting into the offbeat and educational shows.

While hanging out with some family friends tonight, I drank way too much caffeine and ate too much spicy food. After we got home, I found myself too wired to go to sleep. So I got a major craving and got the bright idea to drink some egg nog (just to make sure I pushed my stomach over the edge). Feeling way guilty, I decided to imitate Denise Austin's workout and do a 15 minute indoor walk as I watched the American Kennel Club National Championship on Discovery. The dogs were trotting around on the Telly, so I figured why not get off my duff and join in. I find myself actually wanting to tune in tomorrow to catch the herding dog category and see the Border Collies (we have named Keely). Also, they are gonna announce the Best in Show.

That's the funny things about dog shows. I've always wondered what dogs really get out of these things. They are fun to watch, but what's really interesting is how intense they are for the owners/handlers. Adding another ribbon to their collection is the reason these people spend thousands of dollars in caring and preparing for these animals. Bragging rights seems to be the biggest incentive. I always found it odd when someone introduces their pet with the requisite P.S., "he/she is a purebred and has her papers to prove it." Does it really matter to the average layperson?

I love my dog dearly and she is purebred without papers, but I feel no need to advertise this. Are mixed breeds somehow less? I find some of the mixed breeds to be the most beautiful dogs out there. I am not trying to knock people who like to show their dogs. I liken the process to the beauty pageant business. It's a big deal to those involved in that world. I just found it ironic how similar the AKC show was to the Miss USA or Miss Americanpageants. The participants are judged on their poise, bodyline, beauty, and such.

What's great though is that I learned about all the different dog categories out there. There a zillion breeds out there, but you can break 'em down into Toy, Working, Herding, Sporting, Non-Sporting, Terrier, and there were two others that I forget. I'll say this, it's got me thinking about the next dog I want to get someday. There were a handful that appealed to me. It all depends on how family friendly they are. The Golden Retriever is one of the most popular and pretty, but I also found a soft spot for the Pug. The kind of face only a mother could love, but oh so cute! I also liked a few others. Okay, enough of this midnight rambling. I got way off topic as usual. I'll blame it on the caffeine.

Kidspeak

Okay, I am in dire need of getting a notebook started for each of my kids. My childcare provider made a great suggestion to me once about keeping track of the witty things her kids have said over the years. She has pages upon pages of cute little blurps from them. She says they're fun to read over. I've been mentally taking notes whenever mine do this, but I gotta get something for each of them so that I don't lose these adorable little remarks that they've made. Nicky does it the most lately, probably due to the fact that he's older and in kindergarten. My daughter is still expanding her vocabulary, but can definitely hold her own...my little drama queen.

Tonight I was changing a whopper of a stinky diaper (I know...TMI) and reminded her for the gazillionth time that she needed to go poopy in the toilet, not her diaper. Oblivious, she responds by putting her pink and white stuffed elephant in my face and says with her cheshire cat grin, "My elephant's looking at you." I try a little harder to make my point about potty training by reminding her that in order to go to school like a big girl she would have to go in the toilet. I ask her if she wants to go to school and coyly replies, "No, not yet." I swear this kid knows what she needs to do, but just doesn't feel like doing it yet...:)

My kids definitely are learning what their strengths are though. My daughter is the coy, clever one and my son is the affectionate, intellectual one. What's great though is that I love watching them literally processing new information before my eyes. Kevin, my hubby, and I can always tell when Nicky learns a new concept in school, because he begins to apply it to his environment. For instance, this morning Nicky commented about our weekly childcare rotation. He said, "Mommy...first I go to grandma's, then to Mrs. Williams, and then with you, then with grandma again (and so on). That's a pattern!" I love it.

Do you hear what I hear?

One of the great things about the holiday season is the constant barrage of Christmas music. What can I say? I am one of those people who listen to the radio stations that play it nonstop. Do you have any idea just how many holiday songs are out there? Well, neither do I...but there's enough to keep a radio station on-air 24/7 without too heavy of rotation of the same stuff.

My husband gets an his annual case of the bah humbugs around this time and doesn't enjoy listening to it like I do, so I get my fill en route to work or while doing errands. My kids are getting into it as well. Just yesterday my son was walking around the house singing "Deck the Halls" and "Jingle Bells." My problem is that I don't have that many songs memorized, even some of my favorites. Every year I try to learn a new one to add to the reportoire. Since I am queen of the lists, I thought I'd list some of my all-time favorite Christmas songs. Except for number choice, "Silver Bells", the rest are in not particular order and I love all versions I hear by various artists.

• Silver Bells


• The First Noel


• Sleigh Ride


• Let it Snow


• It Came Upon a Midnight Clear


• Jolly Old St. Nicholas

Some old favorites by specific artists:

• Feliz Navidad (Jose Feliciano)
  
• Last Christmas (Wham!)


• My Grown-Up Christmas List (Amy Grant)


• Hey Santa (Carnie and Wendy Wilson)


• The Hannakah Song (Adam Sandler)


• Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee)


• Holly Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives)


• The 12 Days of Christmas (John Denver w/ the Muppets)


• Winter Wonderland (Dolly Parton)


• Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen, Jackson Five)

Now keep in mind that I didn't even list all the ones I love. Popular songs such as "Jingle Bells"..."Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"..."Deck the Halls" and such were omitted because they are kinda just givens. They are so catchy and mainstream that they are hard not to love. I miss my son attending his old preshcool. It was a church preschool so they held holiday concerts that were so great to attend.

When I was in school we got to have Christmas concerts, but many schools these days don't because of the separation of church and state. The school I worked at last year found a great compromise for this issue. They held a Winter Celebration and honored all of the holidays and cultural traditions so that everyone felt included. They held skits, dances, and sang songs for a big concert. My son's school isn't doing that, so I'm a little disappointed. The bright side is that we were invited to a Christmas concert next week that will be held at my childcare provider's church. Apparently, it's a huge deal in the community and so I'm excited for that. Can't wait for a night of Christmas music! Yes, I know. I'm a bit on the nutty side.

PBS Telethon

I'm sitting here blogging while listening to a tribute to James Taylor on PBS during their holiday fundraising drive. This is when they show their best stuff. The show tonight is an all-star celebration of James Taylor's music and legacy. I've always loved him and it's a great reminder to listen to new voices bring back some great classics. What's awesome is that I'm getting to hear some of my favorite singers perform too. The Dixie Chicks sang the hell out of "Shower the People." Sheryl Crow sang my sentimental favorite, "Mexico," with David Crosby and Jackson Browne doing backup for her. Keith Urban, Bonnie Raitt, Sting, and many more permformed as well. His music is so enduring. Some of my faves include:

• Carolina on My Mind
• Mexico
• Shower the People
• You've Got a Friend
• Copperline

For me, listening to his songs is like the sounds of a waterfall, soothing and beautiful. Yes, I am gushing. I am a folk enthusiast, so I adore the great artists of the past like John Denver; Peter, Paul & Mary, Fleetwood Mac (okay maybe they're more rock), of course James Taylor, and so many more. Okay, I am done raving and I seriously digress...

Thank goodness for PBS. They have some great stuff on that channel and I look forward to the day when I can financially contribute some real support to them. I volunteered a few years back for their holiday drive and had a great time. I got some freaky callers and no pledges for support. Instead, I received more than a few complaints about how the regular programming schedule was messed up and why weren't we showing Lawrence Welk? My mom loves that show and I remember loving it a kid. However, what control do I have over programming on PBS? None. The callers didn't seem to get that and so it was interesting to listen to the many issues people had and their need to share them with a telethon volunteer. However, my partner-in-crime that night, Mo, got a bunch of pledges for donations. She must've just looked cuter on tv. I got all the freaks. Maybe that should tell me something...:) Okay, this has to be one my strangest ramblings as of late. Nighty-night.

Breaking News

Does the news amplify everyday problems? I'm beginning to think so. While cold weather and ice storms are no laughing matter, I think that the media plays a big role in exacerbating normal seasonal events. For example, we had a huge winter ice storm a few years back that brought the city to a halt. People were literally homebound because the foot of snow was covered with a top layer of ice several inches thick. Was it dangerous? Yes. Was it newsworthy? Yes. Did it warrent 24 hour coverage for a whole week on every station? I don't think so.

The local media devoted almost all of their news crews to covering the weather. In addition to the real dramas, we were treated to breaking stories about...get this...piles of snow left behind behind the snow plows...transit buses putting on chains...etc. The way these mundane events played out on tv were actually riveting thanks to the way the media portrayed the stories. A year so ago, a local fox affiliate took some major heat for interrupting the show Prison Break during a major plot point to bring us another breaking story...it was snowing on Mt. Hood. Can you believe it? It was snowing on a mountain? I mean we are talking big time news here, I was shocked that the Associated Press hadn't picked it up...:) In an ironic twist it was the news station that found themselves as the major news story for having the gall to interrupt a show with such a silly topic.

I have to admit that get sucked in the drama as much as the next person, regardless of how trivial the subject matter. I'll even confess to tuning in frequently for weather updates during that snowstorm a few years back. The media knows how to hook its viewers and reel them in. It's the images and drama that we must be drawn to. Even though the images are often horrific, it's hard to tear your eyes away. It's a bit like a trainwreck, you can't not look.

The good stuff

Well, now that Thanksgiving is officially over it is time to celebrate my favorite time of year. Last year I was so immersed in grad school work and my job responsibilities that I neglected the holiday spirit too much. I didn't decorate the house nearly as much as I would've liked and never even got around to sending out Christmas cards. Just had too much on my plate to deal with. Pretty pathetic on my part. That is all about to change.


However, this year I am not feeling so crazy about school stuff and intend to do better by my kids. While I still have a ton to do for it, I am only working part time as a sub so I have a bit more time on my hands. The downside to this change is less money to go shopping with, another favorite pasttime. I was able to snag a few holiday things at the Dollar Tree that were of decent quality. I got some window/wall clings and stocking hangers (so I don't have to poke more holes with tacks).


This lack of funds has forced me to get creative and look into alternative activities to do. I think I've always relied to0 heavily on the Christmas shopping to get me into the spirit, but I am beginning to get back to my crafty roots. I want to finally make the wreath I've always wanted. The materials have been sitting in the garage for a couple of years. And also, I've never actually made a gingerbread house and thought the kids and I would give it a go. Maybe it'll become an annual tradition. I don't want to use the readymade stuff, I want to make the graham cracker version of it. I will try and take a picture of it to see if it turns out. Maybe we'll even make some cookies too.

Adult responsibilities sure have a funny way of changing us. I have always been like a big kid around the holidays, but I think I had forgotten to just enjoy it for what it is. Life gets so crazy and I don't want to miss anymore of the good stuff. Jobs, school, and the like are all fine and dandy, but nothing can replace the little moments with family. I can't wait for Chistmas!

Black Friday

As we reflect on all that we are thankful for this year and count our blessings, we must also pay homage to another celebrated tradition. One of the busiest shopping days of the year is under way. For some, the day began as early as 3am. All of the sales are only about 4-5 hours long and end by 11am. So the day after Thanksgiving is definitely one of those days where the early bird gets the worm, metaphorically speaking.

What's really interesting about the whole commercialized nature of Black Friday, is that it is a great way to get into the holiday spirit. Lots of families get out and about to enjoy the day together, stores play Christmas music, and so on. As crazy as the day is, it's become a part of our pop culture. And even better still, the shopping is great cardio for burning off the Thanksgiving feast...:) Happy shopping!

Memory Lane

Okay, while this may not be a wild night on the town, I had a jolly good time with some friends tonight. We spent our Saturday night reminiscing about stuff from our childhood. On a lark, we checked out some of the outrageous bids for the PS3s on Ebay (some were up to $2500 and a "buy it now" price of $4500!). We continued to check out other stuff and childhood toys that we loved as kids just for fun. We found auctions for Barbie stuff (i.e. Angel Face Barbie, Malibu Barbie, Barbie and the Rockers--Ken had quite the hair helmet going on), Holly Hobbie, The Ginghams Paper Dolls, Dolly Pops, and Sea Wees. I was very good, I didn't bid on anything...even though I wanted to.


We also found some old favorite television theme songs and listened to them online at http://melaman2.com/tvshows/index.htmlman2.com/tvshows/index.html. We had a good time laughing and remembering all the great moments. It's not so much the shows per se, but the memories that go with them. We of course had some favorites tunes.


Some standout themes included CHiPs (can't beat that intro baby), Miami Vice, Greatest American Hero (still know the words!), Grizzly Adams (very John Denver-esque), Charmed (For you Rosie!), Family Ties, Bosom Buddies, The Love Boat, Married With Children, etc. Obviously there are too many to list here, but they are great little songs that stand the test of time. What is so great is that they were a snapshot of a time that reminds us exactly where we were in our lives at that time. Anyhow, we enjoyed ourselves on our little walk down memory lane.

Bloodthirsty shoppers

As a spinoff to my friend's blog about the PS3 craze, I got to thinking about nuttiness of our commercialized Christmas culture. It seems that every so often a product comes along that turns normally reasonable human beings into crazed, bloodthirsty shoppers...

Once upon a time there was a cute, red, furry monster from Sesame Street that loved to giggle when you squeezed is tummy. Sounds harmless enough right? Well, Tickle Me Elmo became the most sought-after toy of the season and then some. Stores were running short everywhere and fights broke out between parents desperate to fill their child's stocking. The Furby brought on similar chaos as well. These bizarre, but lovable little creatures were innovative for their time and it seemed kids and adults alike were hooked.

I personally experienced a little bit of this temporary insanity over the summer after the release of the movie Cars. Disney licensed a number of items that became immediately sought after. I wanted to get my son some of the die-cast miniature cars and so I went to Target. The shelves were barren. I tried again about a week later and experienced the same thing. I checked with the clerk and he told me that they can't keep them in stock.

Over the next couple months I periodically checked a number of Targets in the area and only managed to get a few the little cars. It became a little bit of a mission of sorts to track these cars down for my son's upcoming birthday. When I checked eBay and realized people were bidding insane amounts of money for these $3 cars, I threw in the towel. A few months went by and I thought I would check the shelves again and lo and behold the craze had died down and shelves were well-stocked again. I was grateful that patience won out and I got out of that one with my dignity still intact.

With all the craziness that comes with the Christmas shopping season, I wonder whether children would really care that much if they didn't get the hot ticket item of the season. Some might pout, but it is a sad commentary on the family today if it actually ruins a holiday. Hopefully, we are raising our children to realize that even though every wish may not be answered, they can still be happy. If parents become that nutty, then we can't be surprised when the kids follow suit.

Family Hour

It is another wholesome Sunday night on the Fox Network. Whatever happened to the sitcom? It seems to have been replaced by risque cartoons. Except for The War at Home (not a bad show by the way), it is chalk full of animation. While I tend to favor the crime dramas over on CBS, occasionally I get sucked into the oddball humor of these shows. Let us commiserate for just a moment about the evolution of the family cartoon. While Disney brought us the adorable Mickey Mouse and the gang, I think it would be fair to say that the inaugural primetime family toon was The Flintstones. I was brought up reruns of this show. So many fond memories of Fred's yabbadabbadoos, Barney's obnoxious chuckle, Wilma and Betty yelling "Charge it!", and of course the wonderful little diddy by Pebbles and BamBam...

"So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sun shine in."

We then had The Jetsons, but that one did not quite have the staying power of their prehistoric counterparts. Then came the The Simpsons, also known as the decline of humanity in some circles...:) I was never a big fan of this show, but my kids and husband seem to adore it. Hence, I tolerate it. One of the longest running shows of all time, Homer and his clan are still going strong. "Eat my shorts!" and "Cowabunga!" are now part of the our vernacular. Since I think I somehow subconsciously married the reincarnation of Homer, I can't completely dismiss this show. "Mmmm, doughnuts..." is now a common phrase uttered in our house with the food choice being interchangeable. My husband gets really giddy for the annual Halloween episode.

MTV helped revolutionize the primetime toon genre by bringing us Ren & Stimpy and Beavis & Butthead. Then Trey Parker and Matt Stone ushered in a whole new level of wrong by giving us South Park on Comedy Central. And now we come back to the Sunday night cartoon lineup on Fox. We kick on the evening with the now sedate Simpsons (incomparison with new shows), the spicier American Dad, and then we cap it off with disturbingly funny Family Guy. This last show is so off the charts at times that you can't help but laugh at how random it is. While it appears to follow a basic plotline, you must be prepared for it to digress every chance it gets.

It will be interesting to see what comes down the pipeline next. I know I've left some cartoons out, but my hands fingers are tired of typing and it's time to call it a night to go watch Family Guy. Fred Flintstone would be most likely be yelling "Wilma!" at one viewing of these newer incarnations of the primetime cartoon.

Holiday Traditions

Well, it is officially the most wonderful time of the year. After we hang up our Halloween costumes and begin to gorge on trick-or-treats, November 1st seems to be the first day of the holiday rush. For two months, the stores get cracking on the their merchandise sales. While we still have to stuff ourselves with turkey and pumpkin pie, Christmastime is here as far as the retail world is concerned. It really kicks into high gear the day after Thanksgiving. It happens almost like clockwork, you can set your watch by it. My kids love to roam the aisles of Target look at all the Christmas items or window shop at Toys 'R US. What's funny is that Christmas is so commericalized that I can still remember the holiday jingle..."Merry Christmas from Payless, Merry Christmas!"

All this holiday cheer got me thinking about some of our favorite holiday traditions. While I love to shop and get ready for the big day, I also cherish the little things we do as a family every year. For as long as I can remember, I have set out milk, cookies, and a note for Santa. I did it as a little girl, as college student, and now as a mother of two children. It is a personal tradition that I know many do, but I am glad to have passed onto my own kids.

Also, my mom and grandma made a handmade, felt advent calendar. We would draw an ornament each day until Christmas. Now my kids do it.

Every year, we drive around the neighborhoods and look at the light displays. We really look forward to that one. Someday we hope to have the money to create an amazing display of our own.

Every Christmas Eve, I read The Night Before Christmas to my kids at bedtime. Then we sing their favorite Christmas songs.

As a child, I never got to experience cutting down a Christmas tree (that I know of), so it has been entertaining to start this annual event courtesy of my husband. He grew up doing it, so it is a big deal for him to have our kids get to that. We dress in our grungies and sip hot cocoa while we find the perfect tree.

We are slowly creating little traditions of our own to carry on. There are more than I have listed here. I love this time of year like no other. It is uplifting and special. One really nice perk to becoming a teacher is that every year I will get to spend the holidays with my children because we'll have Christmas vacation together. I spent too many holidays in my twenties having to work, so I am grateful to have these precious memories to make with my family.

Do or die

Last night I saw one of the most disturbing, sadistically-twisted shows I have seen in a long time. I haven't been an avid watcher of CBS's Criminal Minds. However, I am beginning to get hooked on this very intense show about FBI criminal profilers. Last week I was haunted by the episode about a child that murdered his classmates. If that alone wasn't bone-chilling enough, yesterday they showed an even more sinister episode.

Three teenage girls are kidnapped. They grew up together and were the best of friends. All were from loving homes and had bright futures. They found themselves locked in a basement storage room with only their underclothes on. Their captor informs them that they will receive no nourishment during their stay. He promises to let them go, but only two of them will go free. One of them must die and it is up the the three girls to decide who. After several days, the girls are cold, starving, and very disoriented. At first they held out hope that someone would find them, but they soon realize they have to make a decision.

The first girl becomes desperate and tries to convince the second girl that they must take action. The third girl is near death and too weak to move much. The first girl reasons that the third girl is close to death anyway and it is the only humane choice they have. The second girl doesn't want to do it, but reluctantly agrees that they have no other way out. They announce to their captor they have reached a decision. Two hammers are thrown down and the girls realize they have to do the killing themselves. Just as the first girl musters her courage to go through with it, the third girl grabs a hammer and wacks her her with it. The second girl is in complete shock. Their captor releases them as promised. When the FBI finally figure out who their captor is, they find him sitting in the basement storage room next the dead girl's body. He was getting revenge for something their parents had done years earlier and wanted to show that everyone's true colors come out under extreme circumstances.

This episode reminded me of the movie Saw. Though I haven't seen it, I've read the synopsis at imdb.com and was intrigued and disgusted at the same time by the plotline. I've seen some really dramatic stuff in reality and in tv land, but this episode just shook me to the core. Imagine if you were faced with such an intense situation. It isn't hard to answer questions like, "If someone threatened you and your child, but you had to choose who got to live or die, who would you choose?" That isn't a far leap if you have any parental instinct, the child would get to live. However, I don't know how I would react if I were in those girls' shoes. It is a bitter pill to swallow, that's for sure. Trying to rationalize who deserves to live or die would be crazy-making. Trying to be fair would be just as hard. Can you imagine doing rock, paper, scissors? What would you do? Not an easy question to answer.